|Mr Philly Leather 2018 and Body Image
posted by Dan Marinari on Apr 4, 2018 10:30am | comments
Dan Marinari is the current Mr Leather Philly 2018
I recently had someone reach out and tell me, ďYouíre too skinny. I just donít find you a great Mr Philly Leather.Ē Iím not letting it get me down. Iíve learned how to process comments about my body like this and I certainly donít believe that someone has to be a certain size to be a titleholder.
But it does make me want to bring up something that I wanted to talk about-body positivity.
As my friend list has been growing, the content coming into my feed has been changing and lately Iíve noticed memes coming up shaming peopleís bodies, both large and small. You can certainly have a preference but itís important to be mindful about the way you go about expressing that. We shouldnít put someone down or make them feel less than in the process. You never know how your comments might affect someone.
People constantly feel the need to police our bodies and let us know when we donít fit their standards. I first experienced this in high school when someone called me fat. I became very self conscious about my weight and this followed me for many years.
In my religious days (yup, I used to be married to Jesus†#PutARingOnIt), my religious superiors didnít miss an opportunity to comment to on my weight, let me know that I had gained weight while visiting my family and one even poked my stomach and told me to change my diet. As a result of these interactions, I struggled with a number of eating disorders.
As a leather boy, one of my first Sirs told me that I had big thighs and compared my hips to a drag queen we were watching (gurl, if only. Iíd be slaying every night of the week if that were the case). I slimmed down to the skinniest I had ever been in a manner months, so much so that it scares me when I look back at how thin I had become and the methods I had used at the time.
When I eventually started eating properly and lifting to gain weight, my partner at the time began to push me away. The fitter I got, the more distant he became. Another even asked me directly not to get any bigger. And so I started to grow resentful of my own body and the way it was changing.
It took a long time for me to move on and process it all. Eventually I grew more comfortable in my own skin and learned how to shake off negative responses I would receive. You canít please everyone and Iíve learned not to try to. I wake up everyday and try to be the fiercest twunk, wolf or whatever it is kids these days would describe me as.
It hasnít been easy and some days are certainly more challenging than others but having some amazing people help me along the way has made it manageable.
One thing Iíve learned and strongly believe is that sexy is a state of mind, not a shape or a size.
So donít let anyone lead you to think that youíre anything other than breathtaking. Yíall leave me snatched every time I open this app. Iím about to run out of headwear.