Jerome, 28

Executive Director of PhillyGayCalendar

This one night, I was at a club in D.C. where I was visiting.  Started to drink…I think I drank 15 beers that night.  Went to town.  I got so drunk I couldn’t see, things were blurred, and I was throwing up everywhere.  I could hear people try to come help, but I would throw up on them, or they couldn’t understand me.  Then I went into dry heaves.

This one guy picked me up…said, “I’ll help you.”  Took me back to my hotel room, I gave him my key and he let us in.  I puked again in the bathroom, and when I came out I saw him lying naked on the bed.  I was so sick I really just wanted to sleep, but he was coming on to me really strong, so I thought well, maybe it’d be fun.

Didn’t take too long to realize it wasn’t going to be fun.  I told him I couldn’t do it that night—I was just too drunk and too sick—but he wasn’t stopping.  Before I knew it, I was face up on the bed, feeling really faint, not moving very well.  He’s got my legs up in the air and he’s fucking me.  I was trying to fight him off, but he was a strong guy and I was too weak.

When I tried to get him off me, he started punching me and yelling, “take it,” and, “stop fighting,” and stuff like that.  He did it twice that night before he finally left, and I passed out.  I’ve never told anyone what happened to me.  I guess because I put myself in the situation and I didn’t think anyone would believe me.  I should have been able to protect myself but I wasn’t able to.  Looking back, I wish I had told someone what happened to me regardless if I thought people would listen.  Now I have the chance to help other guys by sharing my story…

Jerome 28

It is believed that 1 in 6 adult men will be sexually assaulted in his lifetime.

Sexual assault and rape include any unwanted sexual acts. In this case the assailant was a stranger but he can be an acquaintance, a family member, or someone the victim knows well and trusts.

Rape and sexual assault are crimes of violence and are used to exert power and control over another person. Both rape and sexual assault includes situations when the person cannot say "no" because he is immobilized, unconscious, drunk or high.

Even if you agree to have sex with someone, you have the right to say "no" at any time, and to say "no" to any sexual acts. If you are sexually assaulted or raped, it is never your fault — you are not responsible for the actions of others.

Local rape crisis centers offer direct services or referrals for services, including: counseling, crisis services and support services. You may contact your local rape crisis center, no matter how long it has been since the rape occurred.

Counseling can help you cope with the physical and emotional reactions to the sexual assault or rape, as well as provide you with necessary information about medical and criminal justice system procedures. Seeking counseling is an important way to regain a sense of control over your life after surviving a sexual assault.

Counseling and information about male sexual violence can be found by contacting,

WOAR (Women Organized Against Rape)
24-Hour Hotline: (215) 985-3333

PCAR (Pennsylvania Coalition Against Rape)

Mazzoni Center Open Door Counseling Center
1201 Chestnut Street, 2nd Floor
Philadelphia, PA 19107
(215) 563-0652

Male Survivor




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