Awkward kids huddled together in gym class, their destiny determined by the order in which they’re drafted to a team. Non-athletic, flimsy boys die a little deep down inside every time a girl is picked before them. Where stereotypes and cliques are the ruling order, every terror of adolescence is played out in a game of grade school dodgeball.

Unlike in a B-level horror(-ible) flick, revenge does not always come in the form of a midnight sorority house slaying. Sometimes, it is donned in gold spandex and adorned with a glittery headband. Dodgeball is back! Well, actually, it’s been back. We’ve seen the kids of "South Park" (1998) and "The Simpsons" (2006) hash it out on the court. But it was the 2004 comedy Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story that motivated adults to recapture the semi-sport.

Five years later, dodgeball teams, leagues, and tournaments continue to pop up all over the country. Demonstrating some impressive staying power, the resurgence of this emotionally-riddled pre-pubescent ball play has proven to be more than a trend. Just a few weeks ago was the third annual dodgeball tournament in Dulles, Texas. Offering middle school, high school, and adult divisions, they pitch: "Remember gym class in elementary school? We are bringing dodgeball back, but this time it is even better!"

Dodgeball is so indelibly etched into our memories because it was simultaneously adrenaline-fueled, utterly simple fun. And traumatizing. No wonder gays all over want to reclaim it. A friend in New York just started playing for Big Apple Dodgeball (BAD), which is in its fifth season, sporting 180 players on 18 teams. My friend Hayden recalls "playing it as a kid (when I was woefully un-athletic) and loved it. I thought, wow, I bet I would love it now that I’m big!" Hayden’s tall. I have another friend who plays in Denver, and a simple Google search yields countless results from all over.

This year, the Philadelphia Sports Network brought dodgeball to Philadelphia. Already in its third season (the first and second seasons were in spring and summer, respectively), the league is growing and evolving at a fever pitch. League architects Scott Conant and Marc Miller are developing their sundry flecks of inspiration into promising plans. S&M envision a dodgeball league modeled loosely after roller derby – adding other alluring elements to make the athletic component more fun.

Each of the league’s original four teams chose a name and, as the season progressed, they grew, multiplied, and developed distinct identities. It soon became apparent that players had different types of fun in mind. This schism has left Scott and Marc with what we’ll call the "gayer" contingent, etymology influenced more by aesthetic than sexuality. With uber-fantastic costumes (see earlier reference to gold spandex) and imaginings of games as full-blown productions, the Gold Steam teams (the "gayer" teams) take the game of dodgeball very seriously. Marc, palpably proud, has told defeated opponents, "Yes, we’re wearing shiny gold spandex, and we just kicked your ass."

The Gold Steam teams are fully integrated: gays and straights, guys and gals. Binding them together is serious yet light-hearted competition in the name of good creative fun, all set against the backdrop of a sport they are determined to redefine as not the same dodgeball you played when you were twelve. In this tale of revenge, the game is on their terms, on their court (they can often be found playing at 12 th Street Gym), and in their costumes (again, gold spandex!).

Marc assures me, as he rubs his arm, sore from "dodgeball elbow", that "anyone can play, but it’s hard." If you’re the least bit interested in mixing a sport with some flare, don’t hesitate to give dodgeball a chance. Unfortunately, they don’t do one-night stands (no drop-ins). You have to register for a team for the whole season. However, the seasons last for only, literally, a season, so it’s almost as non-committal as you can get. Gold Steam has some really hot plans in the works and on the horizon, including a tournament in January at Voyeur. Stay tuned for more details on the January tournament, Thunderdome Dodgeball.

Photos by: Andrew Loxley (www.andrewloxley.com)