If you’re going to be the next drag superstar, you better bone up on your acting chops. This week, the queens performed an infomercial.

Sashay: Child, let’s not waste any time. I warned the Princess last week that she needs to bring it, but she didn’t listen and now she’s looking like the joker – with slightly better makeup.

Chante: Yeah girl. I’m gonna have to go ahead and agree with you. As hot as the Princess was, she was just not bringin’ it. But you know what…she can sashay her fine self right into my bedroom!

Sashay: What is up with you and the ki ki this season? In other news, Dida Ritz performed the most FAB-U-LOUS lip sync I’ve ever seen on Drag Race. She’ll be hard to beat in any lip sync competition.

Chante: Dida did deliver a phenomenal lip sync, but I do not see her winning. I am foretelling her being in the bottom again soon.

Sashay: Agreed. This season is proving to have some tough competition. However, a few girls need to be weeded out. Por ejemplo, Madame LaQueer. What was she thinking with that tight pants space outfit? Yuck!

Chante: Oh I know. Queens in Outer Space was NOT Ru’s instruction to the ladies.

Sashay: Yes ma’am. Her looks are hit or miss.

Chante: Next.

Sashay: Jiggly Caliente – I’m sorry my dear, but you’re up for a reading.

Chante: Well all I gotz to say is that Jiggly Caliente not only looks like a wildebeest… she cries like one too. Girlfriend is just ugly. UG-LY. And Phi Phi is always trying to make another queen’s moment about her! She is the fakest of the bunch…pretty looks or not.

Sashay: Jiggly needs to change her name, cuz ain’t nothin’ jigglin’. She can call herself Busty, cuz the bitch looks like she’s about to bust.

Chante: I couldn’t have put it better myself! Now onto the winner…Sharon Needles killed it once again…to Phi Phi’s dismay.

Sashay: Sharon is certainly entertaining. However, this challenge bored me. I’m looking forward to the Snatch Game episode.

Chante: Yes! I am definitely looking forward to that. You know Chad Michaels is gonna do a killer Cher.

Sashay: Speaking of which, I enjoyed Milan’s channeling of Whitney, but I do not enjoy Milan.

Chante: Milan getting on Willam’s “level” was hilarious. She might as well have stayed down there though because she’s eventually gonna get burned…it might as well be by the carpet.

Sashay: Rugburn! Exactly, bitch you ain’t nobody. You was safe, yet again.

Chante: Yes mama. And who was looking over her shoulder? None other than Latrice Royale. That diva worked it this week.

Sashay: I wish she was my fairy drag mother. Can I get an Amen?

Chante: AMEN!!!