Although “ego” is only a three-letter word, it might as well be a four-letter word given the negative cultural, emotional, and, in some cases, spiritual connotations that are correlated with the notion of ego in our society.  We immediately associate someone with an “ego” as the likes of Meryl Streep’s character from the film The Devil Wears Prada or as somebody with an attitude the size of Texas who looks down on others. 

Although I agree that an inflated ego (and who is to judge what that actually is?) is not necessarily a good thing, having a rational ego IS an acceptable, strong, and essential element of a core sense of self.

When we know something isn’t right, we can feel it in our guts—that is, if we honestly and truly have a sense of who we are and of our value to both the world and ourselves.  Making the conscious choice to turn down a client or a project at work because it doesn’t align with our gut (or because we know that said project would ultimately drive us bonkers) isn’t a sign ego-tripping; it’s a sign of strength.   Reevaluating friendships, partners, lovers, or social circles that don’t make us comfortable isn’t being snobbish; it’s realizing that our time, energy, and focus could be better spent developing relationships that are mutually nurturing.

Likewise, when we do something good, and we KNOW we are good at it, we ought to sell it—I’m awesome, self-righteous, and worthy: here’s why.  To say these words is often times difficult for people because we’ve been socialized in such a way to be humble.  One of the main reasons I wasn’t feeling a particular yoga teacher training program I enrolled in was the emphasis on the notion that we, as yogis, knew nothing and that, if we thought we had a good grasp on a concept, our egos would come into play (here goes that notion of ego being BAD, again…).  To express self-assuredness is to be, well, egotistical.

Well, perhaps it is time to say that being egotistical is actually a valid thing.  If we don’t celebrate our strengths, how can we create and feel groovy doing so?  Buy into the fact that you are GOOD at something!

We’ve got to demystify the notion of ego in order to reclaim it.  Value yourself enough to realize that saying “no” is a sign of respect.  Don’t project the conception that you’ll appear arrogant by expressing your strengths.  Be confident, loving, and discerning.  All of these things are powerful, self-assuring strengths.

In other words, keep trippin’, my friend.