Northern California: as different from Philadelphia as Italy is from France and actually much further apart. I have read that the San Francisco area is more creative and relaxed than the north eastern United States because there is less gravitational pull. Whatever the reason, it is an extraordinary place to visit and (in my mind) a MUST for every LGBT individual on our planet to visit at least five times: once in each season (totally different from PHL) and the fifth just for fun!

When I wrote about California Wine Country, (Napa/Sonoma Valley) just one hour north of SFO, I said that the area makes a fine “pairing” (like a fine wine with exquisite food) when combined with a few days in San Francisco. In my business, timing is paramount and the difference between creating magic and inflicting boredom knows how to make an entrance, and when to make your exit. Life is like that as well, but I digress.

I think of San Francisco is a “three night city”. When planning to entertain anyone in SFO there are several things to take into consideration. When I am designing a travel experience for people from the east coast, between transfers and flight time plus the time change, even the seasoned traveler is “shot”. Obviously, if you are visiting only San Francisco (never Frisco), that is your “base”. If combining the city with Wine Country it is best to fly into SFO, go directly to Napa/Sonoma, stay at least two nights and return to the city for three nights and then make your exit. I am very sensitive to travel times and the comfort of my guests. People overtired from travel tend to be supreme assholes. I really have little patience for them and so it is up to me to do what I can to temper their behavior.

As previously mentioned, the Fairmont Hotel product in this northern California area is superb. The San Francisco Fairmont is their “Flagship” property. Does anyone remember the old TV series HOTEL? The Fairmont has no address in San Francisco. It is simply “Atop Nob Hill”. How Chic! I believe this to be the definitive hotel in the city and I have been lucky enough to stay there, steeped in ultimate luxury, many times. Only from the top of Nob Hill can you watch the thick soupy fog creeping under the Bay and Golden Gate Bridges. I once had a room in the Fairmont Towers with a panoramic view reaching from one bridge to the other with Alcatraz blinking its stern warning from the middle of the Bay. The magically elegant glitter of the Transamerica Pyramid amid more sparkle than volcanic eruption was so unbelievably awesome that after dinner, instead of bar-hopping, my window offered the best G-rated show in the city and I could enjoy my cocktails in the raiment of my choice. Once I had The Buckingham Suite which was amazing and the regular rooms just as comfy and over-amenitized. 

The Fairmont and any hotel in San Francisco, large or small, is “our kind” of hotel. Any establishment in the city will be “Gay-Friendly”. “Straight-Friendly” might be another matter. The important thing to know that here “we” are no strange minority. Here we are totally the norm. The Castro is now an important part of Gay history and certainly worth a look, but is no longer the only place to men can steal a kiss or “Women in Love” can comfortably hold hands like lovers do.

As a fan of contrasts, I find that while Nob Hill might have some of the most expensive Real Estate in the city and full of celebrities, jewels, fashion, fine hotels and restaurants, I can tell you about a place two blocks away that is one of the raunchiest places you will find anywhere. Good times!

The Fairmont Hotel is the only place in San Francisco where all of the Cable Cars meet. One can very easily stroll (or roll) down the hill to Union Square, Chinatown or Fisherman’s Wharf, but walking back up is an entirely different matter. Once, when I was driving a huge Lincoln Town Car up the hill (not my choice), I swear I thought I was headed straight up into space. Kind of scary really.

           Right across the street from the Fairmont at One Nob Hill is the landmark Mark Hopkins Hotel with its spectacular “Top of the Mark” Bar. (There are many, very romantic series of WW2 lore concerning military ships sailing out of San Francisco’s harbor while teary, lovers watched from “The Top of the Mark” a perch like no other in the city…Sigh)  Downstairs there are gorgeous public rooms with important, historical, San Franciscan significance. “The Room of the Dons” is my favorite and it’s most famous. Booked for weddings years in advance, it is an historic monument. In this opulent space I have often set up a “Welcome to San Francisco” evening that works rather well and I just adore. Very much like Philadelphia and most other large cities, SFO is really a mass of neighborhoods: ethnic, economic and otherwise. The Food/Beverage Department and I have created food stations all around This gorgeous “Room of the Dons”, celebrating the Italian foods of “North Beach” (which has no beach), “Nob Hill” with California Champagne (naturally), Chateaubriand, caviar, etc. Years ago I served seared Foie Gras which is now against the law in CA. (DAMN!). “China Town” was well represented with Asian cuisine as was “Fisherman’s Wharf”.  “Ghirardelli Square” for decadent chocolate creations that topped everything! It is the perfect combination of history lesson, geography, food/cooking, wine and a just wonderful evening. What really works for me is while crowds form and line up around the seafood of the “Fisherman’s Wharf” station (people just go crazy over shrimp and grilled lobster), I am able to leisurely enjoy “Nob Hill” where the feaux Champagne by Chandon/Napa is exquisite.  One evening, eons ago when I was hosting a party just like this, I was asked if I would mind if Julia Child and Jacques Pipan could stop in to have a look. OMG! Apparently they were doing some benefit at the hotel and were told about my party. They both looked “old as dirt” (he is still alive) but as charming as they could possibly be. She was very tall. He was not. I introduced them to my guests as our “Chefs for the evening”. Jacques laughed, Julia did not. Guess she had other things on her mind and I doubt that the food could have been better prepared than by what the Chefs at the Mark Hopkins presented.

           One of the wonderful things about San Francisco is its ease in getting around and the cities walk-ability. One does have to respect the hills but everything worth seeing is fairly close together and the cable cars are designed to reach most of the most popular attractions and are a lot of fun. Friends and I would try to hop on and off these national landmarks before and after the conductor collected tickets; I got lots of free rides that way (Don’t ever say I suggested that). Depending on the time of year, the cable cars are a pleasure but during tourist season, you can’t get near them. BTW, never call them “Trollies” unless you want to label yourself a dunce from out of town. Some of them actually do have Rice-A-Roni signs on their rear. Well, it is the San Francisco treat … at least to some.   

            Had I a group of Philly Gay men/women to host, on the second night I would take them to a little theatre named Club Fugazi in North Beach (with no beach, remember?). As Gay men and women, if you have not heard of Beach Blanket Babylon, shame on you! Not only is it “the longest running musical review in history”, but to an odd-ball guy like me the funniest fucking thing I have ever seen! (Seriously) It is always somewhat the same and yet, ever changing: clever, creative, and simply hilarious! I’m smiling as I type this. Very, very “Gay” on so many levels, yet I have taken plenty of very “straight” executive types there and have seen them wipe away tears of laughter. I love to watch those types let go and enjoy our humor. We are pretty friggin’ funny sometimes. It must be seen to be believed. There is a lot of information and a video on line if you are interested.

            Before or after the show, the restaurants of SFO are superb, varied, and you can kiss your boy/girl friend with not one eyebrow raised. I have used many with many to try. The standard is somewhat different than in Philadelphia as you will seldom see a coat and tie. You will find no Colonial American references and locally grown farmer’s markets are the go-to place for many of San Francisco’s top Chefs. Organic heirloom tomatoes (yum) with just picked Arugula topped with homemade Mozzarella cheese, served with a San Francisco sourdough baguette and a drizzle of local olive oil could be my “last supper” any day. If you are not familiar with the sweet succulent Dungeoness Crab, so plentiful in the Bay area, I will take you down to Fisherman’s Wharf and make the proper introductions. In your FACE, Baltimore!

           On the final evening, weather we did only SFO or the combination of Wine Country and the city, I always think that a semi-formal dinner-dance works well. In Paris or London, that might mean black tie but I would probably “suggest” jacket and tie while accepting whatever makes my guests most comfortable. I have not asked anyone to change before being allowed into dinner yet though sometimes tempted.

            I have always wanted to do a dinner party in “The Tonga Room and Hurricane Bar” at the Fairmont. Created by Hollywood set designers back in the 1940’s, they took the indoor plunge pool (not really very popular) and turned it into a South Sea Island inspired “set” in the hotel. In the center of the space is the “lagoon” (old pool) and afloat is a small pontoon with the band swinging and swaying and actually “rocking the boat”. Every now and again, the lights dim, lightning flashes to the rumble of thunder before the heavens open and the rain pours down on the now listing boat. The band plays on and everyone loves it. I must admit, it is a lot more fun after the third martini, although while there, I tend toward a Mai Tai, but, only there! The little paper umbrellas are a perfect addition. Sometimes they mess them up for that authentic Hurricane feel! For a more sophisticated, grown up experience, the Fairmont also has a room with spectacular views of the city that is very posh, like being in a magnificent jewel box. It’s very sparkly and kind of girly and romantic. Other rooms are manly, richly detailed and very regal in their appearance and feel. Truly an embarrassment of riches. Way back in the last century I saw Peggy Lee in the Venetian Room their then world famous supper club. One of the best nights ever!! She sang “Is That All There Is” with that hint of ultimate positive determination so much like my own. Tony Bennett sang “I Left My Heart in San Francisco” in that room for the first time. It is such a special room to me.

           The city has a radiant array of places to produce an unforgettable “Farewell Gala Dinner”. I have to admit, it is probably more spectacular and plentiful then Philly has and in some respects more interesting choices than any other city in the world (All the hills and the beautiful Bay help). San Francisco believes in high places with awesome views, glittering lights and great drama. Could that be why “we” chose it as “ours”? We know special/spectacular/unforgettable. Would you “Leave Your Heart” in any other kind of place? I think not.

           THE BOTTOM LINE: Mark Twain once famously said that “One can love two cities, his own and San Francisco”.  He also said “I spent a very cold winter’s day one in San Francisco in August”. Much has been said about the City by the Bay and most of it is true. The Castro is still (to me) the “epicenter of Gay,” not just in the United States but the world. I personally feel that “The Beats”, Height Ashbury and much of the evolution and revolution (Gay and straight) of the past 30 years has led to the now famous San Francisco free/creative/enlightened philosophy. To me, being “Gay” is simply choosing to live a different “Life Philosophy” than some and San Francisco is one of the best places on Earth to express that Philosophy. One can feel it here in Philly in the Gayborhood for certain. In San Francisco, you feel it everywhere in and around the city. I still love Philadelphia and it is my home but maybe SFO is the only other city to really love.