I have found that one of the really unique and wonderful things about being gay is having the ability to perceive and enjoy life on a whole different level than most. I really don’t think it is genetic; I believe that when one is repressed in certain areas of their lives, other “doors/windows” will open to balance us. In the universe, it’s all about balance, the Yin/Yang, so to speak. I like to think that we experience “life in the human condition” with more sensitivity, passion, creativity and thereby more completely. Others simply don’t know what they don’t know. It’s magical to be gay. We are very lucky.

Food is one reason I love to travel. Flavors, preparations, presentations, combinations are very interesting to me. To some, “foreign” food is a true travel deterrent. The unknown registers a “no way” with them. I remember entertaining some people from the Philadelphia area in Italy. It was early November; the sunny weather in Tuscany was glorious and I had planned an outdoor luncheon/wine tasting near a quaint, picturesque chapel. It was perfection! We began with “Tuscan Pumpkin Soup” to be served in artfully carved pumpkin shell-bowls. OMG! To some of my guests, I was forcing poisoned Kool-Aid down their terrified throats! Apparently, some of them never heard of “Pumpkin Soup” (very common to me) and really did not want to experience the creamy/rich/chicken based chowder. All who tasted it loved it, but many pumpkin bowls went untouched. Welcome to my world! So much for “perfection”.

FOOD is the basis of our greatest pleasures and essential to sustain life for us humans, animals and plants. Food was one of the primary reasons for the exploration of our planet. Did you really think it was the passion for geography? Salt, pepper, spices and new yummy things to eat and drink were the true motivation behind early explorations.

Did you know that in colonial America, beginning crops were so important that manure was sent by ship to young America from England to insure success? Interestingly, the huge crates of crap were sent by ship, stored down below in the cargo hold. Heat and gases built up, causing a literal “shit-storm”. Ha! From that point on, all manure sent by boat was clearly marked S-hip H-igh I-n T-ransit and, Voila! A new word was conceived! Next time you are on one of “those” dates or are stuck at a cocktail party with a real snooze-buddy, this story never fails to amuse and you can stretch it out as long as you need before you excuse yourself. 

The new world survived and our awesome United States of America was born right here in Philly. The word shit remains a favorite in the English language and sometimes, it is the only word that will do. It is so versatile! But, I digress!   

I think of incentive travel as a “science” based on the fact that people do more business with people they like. People generally do like you a great deal when you take them, all expenses paid, to Aruba for a few days. If you succeed in making them feel really special they will return and buy more products from you/work much harder for you. It’s not rocket science. And in a good economy, incentive travel really works.

Over the past two centuries, I have learned that food is probably one of the most important and most complicated issues in entertaining. I have to be constantly reminding myself that as a “Foodie”, what I consume is much more than simple survival. Food is one of my passions, a passion not shared by all.  

 I am not a “big” eater. I am a “grazer”. I eat constantly and allow few restrictions. I would much rather have a small portion of something truly delicious than huge quantities of things that will not do me or my body any good. When I travel, my habits continue but no-guilt cheating is part of the experience. Most folks are drawn to what they know and that is why there is a McDonald’s on the Champs Elysees in Paris. Sadly, quantity seems to be very impressive to some people, but, to me a larger pile of garbage is just more of the same. When I plan a program, I make it a habit to design a special dining experience for ladies and gentlemen, not lead cattle to trough.

I have had my share of “dining disasters” but it has not deterred me from taking chances on occasion and expanding people’s culinary horizons. In Switzerland, where it is common to eat horsemeat, I would never expect Americans to appreciate a “Pony-Burger” and would certainly never have it served. At the same time, I once served Wienerschnitzel in Munich (YUM!) and while most found it as delicious as I do, some would not even try it! WTF? Their loss.  

I really do try not to be a smart ass but when I hear someone say “Oh, I just HATE Chinese Food” I have to wonder what they mean. Asian cuisine is as varied, delicious and wonderful as any in the world. A bad batch of General Tso’s Chicken bought at a local Chinese take-out joint does not define a whole beautiful food culture.

Imagine if someone said, “I think American food really sucks”! One might ask what the definition of American Food is. Taken one step further, nothing is constant with food anywhere in the world at anytime, anyway.

This is interesting: I recently learned (since the holidays are here) that in our “neck of the woods,” which would be the Philadelphia/PA Dutch area, we serve stuffing, filling or dressing with our turkeys, yet it is all pretty much the same thing. Gravy in South Philadelphia is very different than what most people in the world determine as “gravy”. We in the United States are most privileged to have the finest and freshest of almost everything while in certain parts of the world their entire selection process of “what’s for dinner” depends on what is in season and what was fresh and looked great at the local market that morning. I can see big plus’s on both sides, but, would rather be in America.

When I plan a cocktail reception in Europe, I have to remember that a full open bar with very heavy hot and cold hors de oeuvres is not common practice “on the continent”. The European idea for a “cocktail” is juice, beer, wine, mineral water with chips (crisps) nuts and olives. In Spain, you might get some cheese. In France, they have no problem letting you know that you are an uncouth American providing copious amounts of food and booze before serving a banquet. They are absolutely correct too, but, I would never admit that to the French.

 When you “break” your nightly “fast” and are staying in Paris or Madrid and a “full American breakfast” is provided, go for it! A “continental breakfast” is quite different. In Asia, breakfast can commonly include soups, salads and all sorts of goodies, yet generally excludes eggs, waffles, or anything we Americans might be accustomed to as breakfast fare.

Did you really come to Japan for an Egg McMuffin? Many Americans would.

Flavors and combinations of ingredients are sometimes a matter of geography. In Italy, menu items described as “Tuscan” or “Florentine” means that the ingredients will be mostly veggies and bread/pasta as ports were too far away for transporting fresh meats or seafood. An American example would be the Creole style of cooking from down around New Orleans. Creole is full of delicious shrimp/sausage/tomatoes/spices, while Cajun refers to the poor Louisiana low country where catfish is blackened and a lot of pepper is used.

In some parts of the world, I discovered that dinner rolls and butter are not a “given” and other than an occasional bottle of eau de mineral, water is for bathing. Coffee really will sometimes put hair on your chest and can be serious. In Italy, one would never drink cappuccino after 10 am and “tea” can be a meal while “ pudding” is any kind of dessert. “Would you care for some cake for pudding”? Crazy!

The best lobsters come from Maine, while Argentina is for beef and the Caspian Sea is for Caviar. In France, Poland, the US, or Thailand, flavors and preparations will change from north to south and east to west. In Italy the red gravy pasta’s and pizzas of Naples are not as plentiful in Venice or Sienna. A sandwich in Philly will most likely be a hoagie or cheesesteak, while in the UK, it could be very delicate with the crusts of the bread cut off. Italy is famous for the sensational panini and France for its Croque Monsieur or Madame. It’s classic French luncheon fare of a grilled ham and cheese (Monsieur) and with a fried egg, (Madame). Fascinating stuff! There is no such thing as French dressing in France. There is common vinaigrette made with Dijon Mustard but our orange concoction (which I happen to like) is snootily referred to as American dressing and really seldom available. Ranch? Are you fucking kidding me?

If you ever go to one of the fast-food burger joints in Australia, a “Classic Aussie Burger” will have lettuce, tomato, onion, sliced beets and is topped with a fried egg. Espresso is very popular there and a single is called a “short-black” while a double is “long”(long-black) .

In Switzerland, they just love second helpings. Even at formal banquets, the waiters come around a second time with the meat or potatoes. I personally have always found this very “homey” and welcoming.

Some countries combine wonderful foods their own way, which I find interesting and pretty damn delicious. In Portugal, the combination of Clams and pork is common and awesome. Hare is a popular game meat in the UK as is wild boar in Italy and goat in the Caribbean. Just try to avoid spring rhubarb in Germany. Traveling around any national holidays, the food will change during that period of time making things even more exciting.

Spring Lamb in England must be tried, as it is most extraordinary, as is Bouillabaisse (fish stew) in the South of France, Spaghetti with Anchovies in Venice or succulent street food in Hanoi, Israeli Hummus or Falafel and Scottish Haggis. I have tried them all and so should you.

In the United States, food, flavors and recipes are all a part of the “melting pot” that makes us what we are. Alaskan Salmon, New York Cheese Cake, Baltimore Crab Cakes, Buffalo wings and Jersey tomatoes all make you wish you had more than one mouth.

I have designed menus at The Ritz in Paris. I had a small group of VIP’s from America and one very amusing fellow decided to light the fireplace in the elegant private salon. We were asked to vacate ASAP! Good times! The food was superb! I toyed with the idea of serving a scrambled egg with crab meat appetizer. That was Princess Diana’s last meal with Dodi at the same hotel. They didn’t share my enthusiasm. Menu planning with the French is an art form I have yet to master. My menus are great but dealing with them is my shortfall. The French have one way only: theirs. I love France/Paris, I honestly do, but many of the people need “work”. Have you ever seen a French Film with a happy ending? I rest my case.  

Once, in Beverly Hills/Hollywood, I had a cocktail reception/dinner with different rooms looking like movie sets with food to match. I had celebrity look a likes everywhere and my Marilyn actually thought she was reincarnated! I will say, she did a fabulous interpretation. In Morocco we all sat on the floor and ate with our hands. Singapore introduced me to things very new to my palate and hopefully never to be reintroduced. If you have never been to a luau in Hawaii, you are really missing something special. I urge you to try things, but liking them is totally your call. For me, I have been blessed with very open minded taste buds. A great many things have “gone down my hatch” with unbridled pleasure.

Alas, rich food, large quantities and luscious wines and beverages take their toll, if you know what I mean, and any intestinal problems can be just as easily be from prep or preserving as uncommon combinations and quantities. The honest truth is that most other countries do not have the refrigeration and ability to keep thinks fresh like we Americans do.  When I am going to an entirely new destination, I arm myself with Pepto Bismol tablets, which I take several times a day. It coats the stomach and seems to prevent nasty things from happening. Anywhere I have already run into more intense problems (once I picked up a parasite) I get a prescription from my doctor for a common antibiotic and that has worked really well. For anyone struggling with their weight, I suggest a couple of weeks with a parasite (Just kidding). Even those of us with “iron stomachs” must be cautious. Just don’t confuse caution with fear.

THE BOTTOM LINE: Great food is part of the travel experience. Many people take their meals very seriously and everyone has their own ideas concerning condiments, portion size, what is acceptable and how it should be prepared. I think that almost anything can be fattening if you eat too much of it and fat content is more important than calories. I try to limit my alcohol, but a platter of pasta without a good red wine is sacrilege! People tend to eat with their eyes and minds first. I find that when I clear out any negative thought concerning eating something new, it usually turns out to be delicious. I have only ever gagged and spit something out in Thailand. The raw squid tasted like how a really sweaty armpit smells. I could not handle that and I generally love Thai food.   Not a bad record, really. Food is really a lot of fun. Cheers!