“We should get going, the show starts at 10” – I say to my comrades as we finish our cocktail at Knock (seriously, the Knock-Mosa is the best value).

“Why? You know that ish ain’t starting on real people time. It’s called 'Drag Time' honey,” replies my most in-the-know friend.

I check my watch (lie, actually check the time on my phone, does anyone own a watch anymore? …Add side-eye to Apple Watch owners) and realize that if he’s right, and he probably is, that means the show won’t start until 10:30, meaning, I won’t get out of it until 1. Call me a wimp, but I work a 9 to 5 and rolling into work with double bags under my eyes wouldn’t be necessary if any of the nightly Gayborhood shows started at 9. Hell! Even 8pm if there are no drag performers in the show (I know painting face is an art form and I would never rush you.)

But claiming a show will start at 9pm isn’t enough for me and It shouldn’t be enough for you. Because we all know that the show won’t start anywhere close to on time. But that’s not totally the show producers' fault, it’s yours.

Let me introduce to you the real tug–o–war that is “Drag Time.” 

Let’s widen our scope to more mainstream events. Why do you show up to The Walnut Street Theatre at 7:55pm for an 8pm show?  Because you know that by 8:05pm the overture will start and if you’re not in your seat you will be held until the end of the first number, and sometimes until the end of the first act! So why do we as patrons show up to Gayborhood events 20+ minutes late? We know they don’t start on time, but why? Well if you’ve ever been on stage, especially in a small venue, you know how ridiculously awkward it is to perform for an audience of 3. So as a performer/ producer you do what you can to stall the start of the show.

But if you ask me, and by reading this far, you technically did, producers, performer AND spectators are approaching this all-wrong.

On the spectator side: we need to show up on time, even if that means paying an extra $1 for a cocktail at the venue of the show, or standing awkwardly with “friends” patiently milling in the space, take this minute to put down your phone and engage with someone new. It won’t kill you. I promise.

On the producer/ performer side:  Be ready and start on time, it won’t take more than two weeks of on-time starts for word to spread that the audience missed a number or two because the show got the ball rolling. Sure those first two weeks might be awkward, but the growing number of 9 to 5 workers that will come out that third week to support you, because they’ll still be able to get a full night's rest, will make up for it.

And finally, more venues should use incentives to get bodies in the door earlier. No cover before x. Half priced drinks before x. Half cover before x. All of these x variables should be the start time of the show.  There are a lot of cheap homo’s, myself included, that would get their asses to a venue if it meant saving a dollar or two. Plus, there’s a good chance that dollar will make its way into your pocket as a performer!