The Superbowl Commercials…as Timaree Sees It.

I get that the event is, in essence, our nation’s annual holiday of Straight Man Fest, even though absolutely everyone watches it. We all eat wings, let out particularly stinky farts and yell at our flat screens. I dig it. But this year’s ads had an unmistakable pattern of trying to empower straight men (through shopping) that struck me as surprising. I had no idea the boys around me were feeling so castrated.

The Adams

I remember my first time hearing about Adam4Adam. I was a sophomore in college and as naïve as Rose Nylund. I didn’t know a single thing about the internet fucking “dating” culture and if I did I would’ve exited stage left – way left.

Why Aren’t We Getting It On?

“My girlfriend and I have been dating for over a year and a half. We live together and have a great relationship. The problem is our sex life, which was great early on but has fizzled in the last 10 months. The main problem is her really low sex drive and it has become a major issue in our relationship. We never have sex more than once a week but the dry-spells have been lasting over a month more recently. I didn’t get fat, I didn’t get any worse looking, I didn’t stop treating her well, and I think our relationship in general has gotten a lot stronger over the last 10 months. I know her stress level is high but the low libido has been difficult for me to adapt to. I struggle to talk about this with her because although we DO discuss the lack of intimacy, everytime I bring up the subject, I feel like I put too much pressure on and make the situation even worse. I’ve found myself getting irritable and more on-edge with her because I want to have sex more often so I would do anything to help the situation improve. She’s only 26, Timaree… what the hell should I do?”

Stop Squeezing the Mellons

“I know you’re not like the Ambassador to Gay or anything, but maybe you have some insights: why do gay boys think they can grab women and sexually harass them and it’s ok because they’re gay? I have a few different gay guy friends who do this. We go out and they grab my boob in the midst of conversation, trying to be funny. Or they spank my ass as I walk by. It would be outrageous if a straight guy did it, but since they’re gay I’m supposed to be ok? What is up with that?”