This is a work of fiction based on my personal interest in Philadelphia, food/hospitality and introducing the International LGBT Council to it. The event took place Friday and Saturday, September 13 & 14, 2013.

 Probably as a result of a year’s worth of my unrelenting ramblings about everywhere from “The Gay American Desert” to “Gay Paris”, I was asked to put together a “simple” 24 hour + program for a group of 35 very influential LGBT men and women who chose Philadelphia as the location of their annual council meeting. Some of the most influential LGBT leaders of our time were coming to Philadelphia. These were not entertainers or star athletes. These were the powerful decision makers from business to hospitality and healthcare. No worries there.  Philadelphia is primed to entertain and impress anyone and the more sophisticated the better.

After exactly 7 minutes of “basking in the honor” of the “job in the guise of an invitation”, panic set in. WTF am I going to do with these people? Believing that Gay men and woman simply see/feel and experience things differently than straight ones, I was unusually apprehensive.  Walking the city several times daily (my drug of choice), I remembered that a few years ago, some of my colleagues from the German Convention Bureau were coming to town on sales calls. I had gotten them a very good rate at a wonderful Old City boutique hotel and they were very happy. They took me out to dinner at “The Fountain Restaurant”.  I can still recall the flavor of the Lobster Lasagna. I can taste the delicate salt of “angel tears shed for having to give up a little piece of heaven”. (Great grub!)  A few months later, they returned and asked me to lunch. I differed and said that lunch would be on me. At the time, I was still tooling around the city in my white Jeep Wrangler, top down whenever possible. A casually planned yet somewhat choreographed visit to “Pat’s King of Steaks” seemed right. The five of us squeezed into the Jeep for a very fast and breezy overview of the city. I purposely parked close to Gino’s the “glitzy pretender to the throne”. When we strolled by their mean-spirited “Order in English” sign, I was able to explain that this was not everyone’s feeling in America but it is “their right” to say it and “our right” to walk on by. We sat with Gino’s as the garish backdrop (great for pictures) and I fed them Wiz-Wit (and not) with stories of Pat Olivieri and the murals of Frankie and Bobby, Chubby and Mario. Maybe an update is in order? I think 1962 wants its mural back.

My mission was accomplished beautifully. Every time I see der freundrin/freund somewhere in the world, they bring up the cheese steaks, the wonderful lunch that it was and how they will never forget it. Lesson: “Unforgettable” has little to do with price.

I had my LGBT Crew (as I called them) flying in from all over the world to PHL all day Friday, September the 13^th (seriously! I did not pick the date but I do believe that only WE can make any superstition work, Good or bad) an obnoxious fellow from Finland arranged all of his own transportation, but in all, we had and 35 separate Town Cars to transfer our VIP’s to different hotels throughout the city. I wanted to attempt to match people to accommodation; it was actually very simple to place people in large luxury hotels or small exquisite boutique hotels as well as classic colonial rooms. Philadelphia has a multitude of hotel styles from which to choose. The first event was in the evening (Friday) and I really only had them for one day before they moved on. Naturally I was aware that most would be jet-lagged on arrival and really not capable of much constructive appreciation, so after some rest (but, not too much) I planned a casual introduction to Philadelphia, the city and the culture that evening. The mid-September weather was perfect and I chose a fairly new space, “Sister Cities Park” at Logan Square: a tiny, mid city oasis, at dusk, the magical glow of our magnificent Basilica of Peter and Paul is your back drop. It is supremely impressive. A turn to the right gives you an over whelming view of the  lace-like Swan Fountain with the commanding Philadelphia Museum of Art behind in all or its Ochre splendor. Had there been rain, wonderful inside space was to have been substituted. Great choices too.

 We celebrated Philadelphia’s long history in the distillation of spirits as well as soft beverages with a special welcome reception of only thirst quenchers produced locally. We included craft beers from “Philadelphia” distilling, the first craft beer in Pennsylvania since prohibition. Cocktails were mixed with Blue Coat American Dry Gin, Penn 1681 Vodka and wine was from local wineries. We put together trays of picture perfect local crudités served with an impressive/aggressive selection of local artesian cheeses. We played around with some creative ideas serving classic soft pretzels but the only thing that made any sense was a presentation by waiters dressed in colonial American garb with fife and drum. Actually dating back to 7^th century France and brought by the Pennsylvania (Dutch) Germans (Dutch) our doughy icon was butler passed in special shapes and sizes with several dipping sauces. Naturally, “Wiz” was one offering and a good way to begin the Philadelphia Cheesesteak conversation.

After 30 minutes (I think cocktail “hours” are too long) we were on our way (walking) up the Parkway for dinner at the Rodin Museum. The addition of the Barnes Foundation to our already sizable selection of art, antiquities and so forth is very impressive. The Barnes is somewhat “sacred” and really needs to be seen on one’s own at one’s own pace. They could schedule time for that the next day. The Rodin is very distinctive, French, compact and the perfect size for 35/40 people. Dining tables were spaced among the exquisite “living bronze” sculpture. I think of them as “movement captured in metal”. Our collection is the largest outside Paris.

First course: Philadelphia Pepper Pot Soup. Because I am “that kind of guy”, the chefs and I invented an accompaniment of a small portion of tomato pie and pork roll, all three Philly originals. My guests were amused, interested and seemed to enjoy it. It was almost a meal in itself.

Second course was freshly squeezed Jersey tomato juice with a selection of rolls and breads from South Philadelphia Bakeries. I wanted to add a small green salad here but was advised against it. The obnoxious guy from Finland, so enamored with our earlier served artesian cheeses, was asking if more might be found to eat with his bread. I think that was a compliment and efforts were made.

Our main course was a selection of meat, game and fish on an oversized plate, served in a traditional colonial manner. In mid September most everything was in abundance and I wanted everything locally raised. We explained each dish, its history and many times, the significance (George Washington’s fave). I wanted to showcase our quality as well as our original preparations and combinations. You may recall when “Bookbinders” always had a combination of chicken salad and fried oysters on their menu. We spoke of the evolution of Philadelphia’s 21^st Century restaurant landscape.    

After dinner and leaving The Rodin, we walked up the street to the right of the Art Museum steps and posed for pictures at the Rocky statue. So many people from all over the world do this; I have to wonder why he is not at the top of the steps. I think it is short sighted to shun a “Philadelphia Franchise” that could bring revenue into the city.

 Because carbonated water was invented in Philly, soft beverages like Hires Root Beer were too. Soda pop is “ours” so I served some by our local heroes. Frank’s Black Cherry, Crème and Orange went really well with a sample of another Philadelphia invention, Italian Water Ice, perfect for cleansing the palette for dessert.

It was now on to The Franklin Institute where, under the kind gaze of our own “Gentle Ben”, our guests were served from a Tsar’s buffet of “over the top” favorites from Philadelphia’s best rated restaurants. My aim was to pull sweets from as many countries as possible.  I also served, my favorite, the rice pudding from The Union League. Regardless of your politics, it is just too damn good to miss. I also added Philadelphia Spiced Wafers even though they are generally served in autumn. I prefer them slathered with peanut butter, but that’s just me. La Colombe coffee was poured because I think it is the best coffee anywhere and the beans are roasted in the Port Richmond section. Cordials and liqueurs were provided by the oldest producer in the US, Charles Jacquin et Cie, which is still in operation in the city’s original Kensington neighborhood.

As the evening came to an end, it looked like a “gangster’s funeral” as the lineup of black Town Cars in front of our Franklin Institute took our happy VIP’s “home” for the night. Love creating “scenes” like that.

The following morning we met at the East entrance to our “must be seen” beyond beautiful, concrete confection of a City Hall. We offered South Philly Canolis and a cup a cup of Wawa coffee for the “long” walk to the Reading Terminal Market. On the way, I broke down “The Crew” into four teams. Given their new knowledge of American cuisine after last evening’s “Philly-Phlavor-Phest”, I gave each team a crisp $10 and sent them inside the structure, which is one of the reasons I love living in Center City. The best way to see and understand anything is to use it and experience it. Each team knew ahead of time that they were responsible for the starter, appetizer, main course or dessert. They were given 30 minutes to gather their ingredients which gave plenty of time for accomplishment with little for boredom.

Not wanting the “gangsters funeral” look again, we used horses and carriages with knowledgeable guides to transfer up to The Restaurant School at Walnut Hill (Great idea on paper but it really took too long).  Each team had ample space, time, tools and help to create “The First PHILADELPHIA LGBT International Council do it Yourself Brunch”. It was hilarious! For a bunch of “polished” Gays and Lesbians, you could see where some knew their way around a kitchen while others, not a clue. There was plenty of “know it all” attitude and flourish. The blending of cooking, culture and process, personal taste and curiosity was something no one there will ever forget. Instant bonding. A couple of students at the Restaurant School lent a hand and cooked something I called “Philadelphia Scrapple, Three Ways”. Brunch was a hit. The unhappy fellow from Finland found his new favorite Philadelphia artisan cheese at the market, incorporated it into his team’s “Starter” menu and his team won! His smile was dazzling, a little crooked and underused perhaps, but, honest.

After brunch, I gave them two hours “at leisure” (this was no vacation) for exploring American, black, and/or Jewish history, or the world’s greatest collections of art, science, technology as well as the very best shopping . At about 2:30 it was time for a “snack” and we boarded the mini-vans in front of the William Way Center after a brief look at the John C. Anderson LGBT Senior Housing facility around the corner on 13^thStreet and a quick overview/look at our wonderfully diverse “Gayborhood”.

The time had finally come and I wanted to introduce Philly’s three most iconic, and I believe indigenous to the city, sandwiches. I chose a classic “Wiz-Wit” from Pats, a Roast Pork Italian with Sharp Provolone from Tony Lukes and a Primo Hoagie (Sarcone roll). The city allowed us to picnic in front of Independence Hall (something seldom done). While gazing at the Liberty Bell, we blended food/culture/history/friendship. Unforgettable?

The Invitation placed under their door the night before read: “You have been invited to a reception, Saturday evening, September 14 at 7:30 PM on the 19^th Floor of the Hyatt at the Bellevue”. I think that The XIX Restaurant offers are some of the loveliest spaces/views in the city. I would prefer to see the coloration return to the white and Wedgewood blue of The Ethyl Barrymore Room but, that’s just me. Mayor Nutter, Governor Rendell with wives and several other elected dignitaries attended our gala evening while and some local television and entertainment personalities were on hand too. I forgot to send Governor Corbett an invitation. Oops!

The “fare was spare” at the reception. I hate to see people spoil their dinner and I had a good one planned. I did allow an assortment of Mini-Stromboli as the first was served in Essington in 1950. As the clock above City Hall struck eight, we were entering Macy’s (formerly Lord & Taylor, Wannamaker’s etc.) several blocks away. A foggy violet gloom enveloped you as you came through the usher opened doors. No longer one of the country’s first and largest department “stores”, the transformed space seemed eerie, strange and yet curiously romantic. White robed men and women with candles pointed the murky way to the oddly “glowing” center of the store/space. There, in front of the famous Eagle, I had set one long table for the group plus dignitaries and celebrities. I put about 30 per side with the former Governor and current Mayor at either end. Kevin Bacon seemed to love being in the middle of the action while others (who will remain nameless) seemed disturbed. There are only two ends people! My new “Fin-Friend” sat next to a radiant Tina Fay and was very happy. She seemed to be enjoying herself too.

THE PHANTOM of PHILDALPHIA! Evening had begun. The table linens were Chinese red; chairs were ornate with tufted red velvet cushions. All flatware was gold and the sparkling crystal gold-rimmed. China white with gold trim and the center of the table was lined with large blocks of ice, lit from underneath: the effect, amazing! Spilling from holes in the ice, white Hydrangea and blue Corn Flowers. The effect was delicate, elegant and yet with a very common feeling, just like the city itself.

All about we served dinner from stations representing Philadelphia: “Rittenhouse Square” served Champagne, caviar and fine canapés from LACROIX and Parc. Several “South Philly” restaurants served Italian specialties and pasta to order (Yum). “Port Richmond” for Pirogues and Kielbasa. “Chinatown”, (Asian) “Down the shore”, (seafood) and finally “South Street” for the more serious meat and potato selections (plus a little Greek).  I named dessert, “Franklin Square”. My display of Tastykakes, Peanut Chews and  Kandy Kakes is now legend. Bassett’s cinnamon ice cream, a favorite of Thomas Jefferson’s from a recipe he brought from Paris, is always a winner. I threw in some German Butter cake (from Stocks Bakery) just because that’s the way I roll!

Most of the guests had noticed the surroundings as they had entered the “Phantom’s Sanctuary” but the lights on the world famous and world’s largest Organ were off. Suddenly an amazing laser light show burst to the blast of the Wannamaker Grand Court Organ. (Why does that make me laugh?) The “Phantom” swung in from one of the balconies and the musical comedy/drama began, carefully orchestrated and choreographed with dessert, coffee and liquors.

“Mini-Plot:” was the Phantom of Philadelphia pure evil? Or was he simply misunderstood?  How many really famous people in/from Philly are caught in that web?

I would have killed for a cigar but that part of a big dinner does not happen anymore. Pity. A fine Cohiba after a great meal is better than almost anything. Again, that’s just me.

I must mention that the “music of the/that night” and throughout our program was through an agreement made with the Curtis Institute. I provided them the schedule and they supplied the music. The selection was remarkable from fife and drum, stringed quartets and country to opera and very danceable tunes. They did a fabulous job. The “Crew” was impressed with our musical selections were commented on constantly.

THE BOTTOM LINE: Only by being royal or presidential would such an event be possible and our LGBT Crew knew that. It is amazing how weeks of planning are needed for a day’s entertainment/education if done correctly. My job was to show the elite of the LGBT International Community the product/commodity that is “Philadelphia”. One can brag about being a “Gay Friendly” destination as it is a free county. There is only one Philly, who is not only truly “Gay Friendly” but is so much more. No one has our history. The awesome entertaining spaces we have. The sounds of Philly from Dick Clark to the world’s greatest orchestra. Even Mummers! Our restaurants are superb and many of our recipes original and only found in Philadelphia. At my farewell speech, after quite a bit of applause from people whose judgment I respect, I said that while Philadelphia was named 5^th largest city in the country, the first capital and birthplace of America “title” will always be ours. I suggested that while many other beautiful and exciting cities can be visited, Philadelphia is really a part of us all. Accomplishment, dreams and doing what is right, being honest and genuine. I believe that most of us in the LGBT Community admire these traits and strive for them. Philadelphia was founded on it. Even when I visited Hanoi, they knew who Rocky was and what he represented.