BOYFRIEND UNIVERSITY: Distancer Pursuer Style of Relating

How many of us took Boyfriend 101 in school? I bet the number is low. (Drunken, late nights experimenting with other boys don’t count). We plan for our education and prepare for our careers, yet when it comes to relationships some of us give more conscious thought to buying a new pair of jeans. I often meet men who say they want a relationship and yet have few skills and limited awareness about how to create it. It seems many of us gay men know little about emotional exchange, vulnerable disclosure, or power struggles. If we want good relationships, then we have to ask ourselves, what is healthy relating and how do we nurture it in our lives?