There are a few universal truths in Philadelphia’s gay bar scene. Soundtrack is key. Dressing down is rarely an option. Love is hard to find. But perhaps the most unavoidable truth is this: it’s hard to keep the gays interested. If a bar doesn’t have that social sparkle, we’re either moving on or staying in — especially if it’s a weeknight. It takes a unique individual to help run a successful spot in Philadelphia’s Gayborhood. Business sense and work ethic will only get you so far, and you can’t survive solely on your charm (although good looks don’t hurt). Basically, you need John Caputo, Q Lounge & Kitchen’s jack of all trades. As general manager and managing partner, the 32-year-old does it all — from booking DJs to planning events. His goal: to get the community out at Q Lounge every night, not just Friday and Saturday. It’s a 7-day-a-week job…and it doesn’t always leave much time for dating. But a former Philadelphia Mr. Gay with years of industry experience under his belt just might be the hometown hero we’re looking for.

What was your first foray into the service industry?
Well I’ve been in the industry for 14 years. I was born and raised in Philly, and my first bar job was at Black Banana at 3rd and Arch Streets, which is closed now. It was a pretty famous and iconic establishment in Philadelphia’s gay community. I worked there the last year it was open and continued to bartend throughout college. I’ve always loved working in this industry because it’s about having fun. It can get hectic at times, but I love being around people and meeting new friends.

Was managing a bar always what you wanted to do?
Not necessarily. I was actually a sportswear buyer for a small company here in Philly for 4 1/2 years. I went to school for Fashion at Philadelphia University, so that’s where my educational background is. But even when I was working as a buyer, I still maintained a part-time job in the restaurant business. Eventually, I decided to pursue that full time..because I just liked it better.

What kind of experience do want Q Lounge to offer?
I want anyone who walks in to be comfortable. I know that if I see you at my bar, I’m going to treat you like family. It’s my place, my home, and as far as I’m concerned, my home is your home. I work 7 days a week nonstop to make sure that Q is a place where you can be comfortable and have fun any day of the week. Even if I’m not here, I’m at home booking DJs and planning events. And even though we are a gay bar, we welcome all lifestyles. Most of our clientele is gay, and we try to be very gay friendly, but we do have a good amount of straight clientele who feel comfortable being here as well. And I think that’s what differentiates Q Lounge from other bars. It’s just a fun atmosphere where everyone can have a good time. We’re not snobby or uptight. We welcome everyone to just come in and party nonstop.

You won the title of Philadelphia’s Mr. Gay in 2008. Did that change your life at all?
As a person, it taught me to work hard, and that’s definitely a lesson that has carried over into my work at Q. For months, I hit the gym regularly and promoted myself whenever the opportunity arose. In general, it taught me not to give up. I gave it my everything and I won. Now I’m applying that same kind of work ethic at the bar.

In your opinion, is Philadelphia’s gay nightlife everything it could be?
I think it has a lot more potential. It’s hard here in Philly, and anywhere for that matter, to get the community out 7 nights a week. You have to constantly keep up with the times, come up with new events that people are actually interested in; basically, make the community want to come out. But overall, I think Philly’s gay nightlife is great.

How important is unity in in the gay community?
Unity is so important, especially in the relatively small gay community in Philadelphia. It’s about everyone getting along. And with everything going on in the neighborhood lately, with people getting mugged and people getting stabbed, it’s important that the community comes together to do something about it. We all need to work together to make the Gayborhood a safer place. We shouldn’t have to walk around at night and be afraid.

Any dating tips for gay singles in the city?
Well I am single. And I certainly know it can be tough. Although Philadelphia is a large city, the gay community is very small, so it’s always a case of six degrees of separation. Everyone knows everyone, and it’s tough to meet someone new. As far as tips and advice, I don’t know if I have any good tips. If anyone has some, let me know.

When it comes to your dating experiences, anything you look back on and just laugh?
This past summer, I was dating a guy for a while, and he would take me home on the back of his bicycle. My friends nicknamed me ‘Toto,’ and the name stuck. So this year, my friends and I did a Wizard of Oz theme with our costumes.

How would you describe the elusive Mr. Right?
He has to have an amazing personality. Looks aren’t everything to me, but I have to be somewhat sexually attracted to him. He has to make me laugh. Someone who’s pretty successful. Has a good head on his shoulders. He doesn’t have to be perfect, but he likes to have a good time. Adventurous. Spontaneous. All the good stuff.

Obviously, the gay community is dealing with a lot of issues right now, but one of the biggest concerns out there is teen bullying. Do you have any thoughts on this?
When I was in high school, I was bullied. I went to an all boys Catholic high school. During my freshman year, I was beat up so badly I was in the hospital. I knew I was gay but I wasn’t out yet. Thankfully, I came from a good family who loves and supports me no matter what. I knew I had the strength and guidance from them to persevere through it all and become the person I am today. But there’s no denying it was a hard time for me.

Any words of encouragement for young gay teens who are victims of bullying?
Hang tough. And ignore it. Don’t let it eat away at you. Lean on your loved ones, whether it’s your family or friends, for  support. They will be your source of strength when dealing with the intolerance. Unfortunately, there’s always going to be hatred, but hopefully one day it will stop.

Well now that we’ve explored a more serious topic, let’s get lighthearted again. Anything people would be surprised to know about you?
I’m pretty handy. Most people don’t think I’m butch enough to be handy. Everyone thinks of me as a pretty boy, but when it comes down to it I can get my hands dirty. But other than that, I’m pretty straightforward. What you see is what you get.

What do you do during downtime…if it exists?
Haha! Yes, there’s not much of it. But when I do get some downtime, I like to hang out with my family and my friends. My family is really important to me as they have supported me since day one. I have two older sisters who are both married with children. I love being an uncle and spending time with my nieces and nephews. I love them to death, but it’s also good to be able to hand them back over to my sisters at the end of the day. As for my friends, they’re my biggest inspiration, and we always have a good time no matter what we’re doing. Other than that, I like to travel, hit the beach, go to the gym at 12th Street, read, cook, watch TV…all the normal stuff.

In 10 years, John Caputo will be…?
Hopefully married. Still successful with Q Lounge, maybe with another location open. But most importantly, very happy with a significant other.

Watch John Caputo in the smash youtube video Ice Cream Truck – Philly Style