Soon-to-be-sex savvy Philadelphians gathered at the Danger Danger gallery on March 11th for “Dancing With Myself: A Celebration of Solo Sex”. The event was masterminded in every sense of the word by Screw Smart, the self-described queer, sex-positive sedutainment group that has been spicing up stages and demonstration rooms since its inception in 2009. (That’s sex-education-entertainment for those of you looking to rock the scrabble board later tonight.)

Screw Smart’s mission is simple: “inspiring others to be engaged and informed sexual adventurers!” (Read more on their website: www.screwsmartly.com.) They certainly made good on that promise with the brilliantly staged cabaret of solo seducational performances that followed.

Screw Smart kicked things off with “Dancing with Myself” by David Bowie, artfully miming just how much fun well lubed butt plugs, vibrators, and digits can be.

The evening then took a theatrical turn with the balcony scene from “Romeo and Julliet,” performed by Chlamydia Dell’Arte. I must admit this interpretation made more sense to me than any I’d seen previously. So that’s how two star crossed lovers got through the days and nights apart! I certainly got some new inspiration for the next time I’m talking with a distant partner over Skype.

Next up Miss Marywanna got us hot and bothered with a burlesque number that featured a few well placed (and well decorated) mirrors to the tune of “I Touch Myself” by the DiVinyls. I’ve never been so excited about contemplating self-reflection.

Our evening was not complete without the comic stylings of the Liberty City Kings, aka LiCK. If you follow that thought, you’re in the right state but the wrong zipcode, my friends. Remember, this is solo sex we’re talking about! Any attendee to LiCK’s regular bi-monthly Saturday night shows at Tabu knows LiCK likes their drag with a side of comedy and so, we were treated to “The Internet is for Porn” from the broadway musical puppet hit, Avenue Q.

The Notorious OMG, the Philly based member of genderf*ck royalty who MCees for LiCK and a variety of other local burlesque shows, kept the fires of sass well stoked between numbers. I’ve got to hand it to a performer who can pull off (recycled) fur, pumps, a sequined corset, glitter eyelids and a leather jock strap, all in the same look.

Perhaps the piece de resistance was Screw Smart’s encore celebrating solo water play to the tune of “Orrinocco Flow” by Enya. The anthropomorphic shower assemblage suggested a series creative tap and show head maneuvers to its willing recipients that promised to make us late to work with a smile on our faces. The encore within the encore was a full body suit vagina puppet (hand sewn of course) that thrilled audience members and kaiju afficiandos alike. Now we can have ourselves a party that lasts all day—just as soon as we call in sick.

Even the walls of the gallery were an inspiration to solo sexploration with larger than life graphic, faux chalk board representations of vibrators, sex toys and favorite finger positions suggested by West Philly-based visual artist, Thomasin.

This isn’t our parent’s sex education—it’s a heck of a lot more fun.

Got you titillated? You can join Screw Smart for “Bind a F*cking Zine” 5/6 at The Wooden Shoe or Sign for an Intro to Anal Play at Passional Sexploratorium on 5/20. Check out www.screwsmartly.com for details.

Information about upcoming shows featuring LiCK (The Liberty City Drag Kings), Miss Mary Wanna, The Notorious OMG, and Chlamydia Dell’Arte can be found on Facebook.