Good Morning Kids,

Can u smell it in the air? The birds are singing, that bright, yellow thing is back out in the sky, and the quality of hemp arriving in the city is star-quality-that’s right kiddies, it’s springtime.

Spring is the best weather for being gay, in and out of drag. Not only because you can read people for trying to wear the same Old Navy summer clothes they tried to adorn themselves with last year (and always too early-gays start wearing flip flops the second the winter ice melts), but also because it’s pageant season!

Philadelphia sees it’s fair-share of pageants each year, for the “girls” and the queens (boys), and as a member of Philly’s VIP elite and card-carrying member of the BWA (Business Womenz Association), I get to either host or judge most of them. It’s a hard job, but someone’s got to get it done.

My first stop in the past month was the Miss Bob and Barbara’s Pageant, hosted by Lisa Lisa. Bob and Barbara’s has the title of the “longest running show in Philadelphia.” I say that’s only because Lisa never know when to shut up on the microphone after a few drinks-JUST KIDDING!

With special performances by Karen Von Say, Alexis Cartier, and 2010 winner Desiree Evergreen performing for the crowd, I must say the show went by rather quickly. Fellow judge and whisky aficionado Tre Rios, along with myself, Debbie Spadafora, and George Shepphard were proud to crown Lady Marissa Miss Bob and Barbara’s 2011. Congrats girl-use that prize money to buy mace to protect yourself from the girls who didn’t grab that crown.

The Mr. and Mrs.Lady V. Pageant was held at Voyeur Nightclub. Sponsored by The University of Pennsylvania, the winner will go on a six-spot tour to educate students about a new HIV-vaccine available to the community.

Hosted by yours truly and the amazing Harmonica Sunbeam, the night was filled with fantastic performances, and local celebrity judges such as Fran Price crowned Lady Marissa (see above-yes, that bitch gets more crowns than a meth addict at a doctor’s visit) Mrs. Lady V.!

Dragapalooza, an event created by Bruce Yelk of Nightlifegay.com, was the biggest drag event to hit Philadelphia-EVER…

Broadway numbers, performed both live as well as lyp-synched, wowed a sellout audience at Voyeur Nightclub.

Singers Tom Sirkot and Alexandria Rush joined drag veterans Alexis Chandler, Joey Joesephs, Jason Cosmo, and newcomers such as Cherry Pop,and Diana Darling, Isis, and Omyra Lynn, performing songs from “Wicked”, “Hair’, Hairspray, Rent,, and all the gay favorites. The show returns to Voyeur May 21, so buy your tickets early to make sure you get a seat! I’ll be returning as the show’s host, singing Barbara Streisand live! So be sure to bring your ass and support the girls.

Earlier this month I performed at Tavern on Camac for “Tommy’s Girls”, an MS Benefit. Hosted by Crystal Electra, performers Feressa, Cherry Cola, Joe Black, and Dannity Kane, among others, gave their hearts and their time for a great cause to raise lots of cash. This event gets better every year, and I love being a part of it and being welcomed into the Tavern Family.

This past Saturday Mr. Gay Philadelphia was held at Voyeur Nightclub (that place gets all the big events). Produced by Bruce Yelk of Nightlifegay.com, 17 of the hottest hotties from the gay hood gathered on stage to make me more moist than a fresh twinkie..

Co-hosted by myself and Frank Decaro of Sirrus Radio, the event boasted such celebrity judges as Michael Musto, Mickey Boardman, out-jock and hotter than hell Brian Simms, Jimmy Conteras, Noel Zayas, and Jay Carrol from Project Runway.

Navaya Shay, Aeryanah Von Moi, Isis, Omyra Lynn, and Diana Dharling lit up the stage with a huge array of dragtactular numbers-Navays actually did have sparks coming out of various parts of her body and I’ve never seen Aeryanah that high. (I am referring to the fact they lifted her during her performance using the crane lift, so get your mind off drugs for just a second…)

Congrats to Dashell, from Travel Matters, not only because he won the title of Mr. Gay Philadelphia 2011, but because he got to hold my water bottle, using only his balls, while doing a handstand during the bathing suit portion of the show…I wish I was kidding, but that really happened…in front of the whole audience-but that’s why I get the big bucks kids.

This Wednesday, join me at Tavern on Camac to GET WET & TWISTED!

Yes ma’am-bring out your tightest whities and let the boys get you all wet-then hit the stage to win CASH playing some TWISTER! Miss Kyle will be slinging the cocktails from 9pm-close and i’ll be on board to make sure this night will have you calling out of work the next morning. So listen boys, sign up by 10:30, and the show starts at 11pm!

Last and definitely not least, a BIG GAY SHOUT OUT to my bar partner and gay girlfriend Ricky Mac for winning “Best Bartender” from the PGN’s “Pink Penny’ awards! You can see him at Voyeur Monday and Tuesday Nights, as well as Wednesday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday at Woody’s in the Pub . She works hard for the money, and I’m with her on Friday and Saturday nights, so you better treat her right…

Ok kiddies,I’m out of exclamation points and I’ve got drag clothes to wash and fumigate-until next time-

Love and lashes,

Brittany Lynn