I’m not a huge beach guy. I mean, it’s really pretty to look at. But even when I go with the most seasoned beach lovers, I still get impatient, sweaty, coated in sand and just generally irritable. A walk down to the ocean really just involves jellyfish, seaweed and shells ripping up my feet. Sorry. I can deal, I just don’t love it.

So imagine my surprise to hear about Philly’s new oasis amidst the concrete jungle – The Arrow Swim Club. Think chic, refreshing, immaculately clean and no sand in your toes. Pristine, temperature-regulated water. No kids. I mean, really…the shore doesn’t hold a candle.

Situated smack in bustling Northern Liberties, Arrow Swim Club is the brainchild of Real Estate visionary Bart Blatstein and Public Relations mastermind Nicole Cashman. Before our pool options in this tightly-packed city were almost non-existent – sans the city’s public pools or the indoor pool at the gym, neither of which we will use (or be able to order a cosmo and a light lunch at, for that matter).

Let’s face it. While we are trying hard not be placed into a category, gay men like our luxury. Arrow offers the city’s only refreshingly kid-free over-21 private poolside oasis. Whether you show up for an hour or an afternoon, you can lay out in one of the Balinese lounge chairs, have a cocktail at the bar (or at your chair), and just generally completely forget about the intensity of the city around you. Some amenities include complimentary towel service, shaded hammocks, ping pong tables, locker rooms with a/c, free wifi, bar and restaurant, spa services, free movie nights and yoga sessions, and complimentary self-parking (or discount valet).

Sounds good, no? But Arrow Swim Club ups the ante even further with their private cabanas. While already in the lap of luxury, imagine how chic you will be with your own flat screen tv and blu-ray player (with DVD selection), mini-fridge, ipod dock, ceiling fan, electronic gaming system, personal waiter service, bottle service and more. There’s a premium for the luxury, but what do champagne-drenched memories of poolside summers cost? I’m not going to try to put a price on them. I know some people who spend half-year’s salary on their weekend shore houses in Rehoboth. All I’m saying is…change the beach vacation to one weekend and stick around town for the rest of the summer. You’ll lose the 3 hour drive (both ways!) and gain a lot more fabulous. And you won’t even remember that you have three weeks of work on your desk.

Add to all of that the fact that the club is embracing and supporting the community. “We are looking forward to having members of the gay community spend their summer at Arrow Swim Club. We have reached out to prominent gayborhood bartenders, booked gay DJs, and have geared our programming to be all inclusive,” says Cashman. Additionally, the club employs a background check to keep everyone’s mind on pure and simple summer fun and relaxation.

Being a musician, I pushed for some answers about the music. Crappy music saps any place of its energy. Well, with local music magician senior deluxe guy-on-the-scene Nigel Richards at the helm, there’s no need to worry. “The music is going to be very loungey with a hint of familiarity depending on the time of day. It’s certainly not going to be blaring top forty. It’s an oasis and so all senses should be relaxed.” My sentiments exactly.

So yeah, I know that I’ve totally blown this place up, but I am excited. We need something like this. So what if you don’t live in NoLibs? Think about the distance you had to go before for summer luxury. The cab ride from Center City pales in comparison. If you are inclined to wade through public transit schedules and routes (I am not), SEPTA can get you pretty damn close as well. And for $1000 for the entire season (May through September), it breaks down to be pretty reasonable, especially in comparison to alternate options.

Now you can skip the $4000 week in South Beach. It just landed here in Philly, minus the pretentiousness. Arrow Swim Club is at 1031 Germantown Ave, Northern Liberties. 215-606-7402. ArrowSwimClub.com