The 2011 U.S. Mr. Gay Pageant Competition! It happened! And we were there. So what stood out?

Mr. San Diego’s Back Hair

When our California king came out for the swimsuit portion of the program, and did his little turn on the catwalk, he revealed two neat wings of body hair spreading out from his shoulder-blades. A handful of ignorant queens in the back were all “Ew!” like they never saw a human body before, but we applaud the man from San Diego for his bravery in the face of the gay community’s relentless body fascism. Nonetheless, his weirdo “Welcome Back Kotter” sideburns were deplorable.

Hostess Brittany Lynn Cracks Wise

Philly’s most tireless drag queen was in peak form Saturday, holding court, flirting with the contestants, and dropping quips like “I ate four lemons wedges the other day and put on sixteen pounds.”

The American Sign Language Interpreter

 An interpreter took the stage Saturday for the benefit of the hearing impaired, but with his animated signing, impeccable wardrobe, and   bright smile, he just about stole the show. Also, by keeping a close eye on the interpreter during Brittany Lynn’s running commentary,  I’m pretty sure I can say “skinny bitch” in sign language now. 

Jade Starling Still Falling

Know what? This is a great song, and as many times as Jade Starling is willing to get up on stage and sing it, I’m more than willing to hear it.

Ms. Poison Is a Diva

Speaking of Pretty Poison, Ms. Poison and her backup dancer delivered a stunning performance of Beyonce’s “Diva,” sending a subliminal message to lackluster queens everywhere. That message? “Choreography, bitches. Get some.”

TJ from The A-List: New York

No show is complete without a lowlight or two, and Logo’s annoying houseguest who never leaves, life-enthusiast TJ Kelly, generously provided the gift of groan every time he opened his mouth. Whether he was overstaying his welcome on stage, distractingly shouting up at Brittany Lynn from the judges’ row, or trying to climb back on stage, uninvited, to yap into the microphone like an overstimulated poodle with a bad dye job, TJ did a solid job of trying to make it all about TJ. There was a brief moment of near-redemption when Gay America’s own Ferguson Darling tried to persuade NightLifeGay’s Bruce Yelk take off his shirt, but in real life just as in TV land, TJ failed the gay community yet again. Not that there was any lack of naked torso onstage, but still.

Mr. Gay’s Winning Answer

The question-and-answer portion of the competition was the most riveting, as it allowed the contestants to use their words to impress, instead of their gravity-proof navels. Asked about what singular quality U.S. Mr. Gay should possess, Philly’s own Dashiell Sears gave an answer that would make any Occupy Wall Street protester proud: Empathy. Mr. Pittsburgh didn’t fare so well; asked how he would use the title of U.S. Mr. Gay to enrich his local community, he stated that he would like to travel the country to recruit more contestants for U.S. Mr. Gay. Faced with the question “If you don’t win the title of Mr. Gay, which other contestant should?” winner Bryan Dorsey delivered the mother of all right answers: “Jesus.” What savvy! Congratulations, Mr. Dorsey. Shauntay you stay.