The Night Sharon Needles Came to Philadelphia

Executive Director of PhillyGayCalendar

Wednesday night was Philly alt-drag performer and tattooed cutting bruiser Porcelain’s birthday celebration at Voyeur, which was also the one-year anniversary of the Wednesday night Dollhouse Revue drag show, and RuPaul’s Drag Racer Sharon Needles came to visit, too. I have never seen Voyeur so crowded, and I’ve  been kicked out of  drunkenly stumbled through flashed guys my junk at gone to Voyeur a couple times. I arrived too late for the diva seats, so I stood behind the chairs across from center stage as a sea of people behind me grinded past each other like warring schools of canned sardines. It got a little hairy, and it’s a good thing Porcelain didn’t set anyone aflame during her fire-eating bit or there would’ve been a melee. I’m getting ahead of myself.

Local zombie music duo Rainbow Destroyer kicked off the show with their song “Die With Me Tonight” and when the boy zombie took off his shirt his body was glittery. I was into it.

During her number, Dollstar Omyra Lynn… um. How do I put this? — She induced a miscarriage onstage and then she cooked her aborted fetus and smeared its blood on her emotionally unavailable domestic partner Lu’s face. Porcelain and Sharon Needles are certainly the right kind of bad influence on Omyra Lynn, who will never have to defend her rep as “The Insatiable Taste of Sin” in my eyes ever again.

Self-proclaimed “Eleventh Place Winner” of RPDR Season 3, Mimi Imfurst wasted no time after [SPOILER ALERT] Season 4 contestant Willam’s recent (and mysterious) ousting to call her a fellatio whore behind her back. “You know why Willam puked on the stage, right? Because she was full,” teased Mimi.

Porcelain made her first appearance in Chucky-inspired drag, emerging from a “Good Guy” doll box brandishing a huge knife. Later on, she went all the way for her birthday by performing a suspension to “Part of Your World” from The Little Mermaid. What’s a suspension, you ask? I’ll defy to Urban Dictionary’s third definition of suspension, which is “having hooks dug deep into your flesh, and then being suspended 5-12 ft. into the air by those sharp little fuckers.” That about says it.

That wasn’t the most shocking thing for me though. My jaw hit the floor seeing the sick and twisted shit that Sharon Needles did during her performance. She took the ones and fives her adoring fans brought to the stage to tip her, and she walked them over to a blender, then combined the cash with a generous pour of vodka, and turned on the blender and made a cash vodka moothie. AND THEN SHE DRANK IT. Now that right there is a bad ass bitch. What absolutely killed me, thought, was after Needles drank her tips, her fans brought her more money so she would do it again!

Meanwhile, Mimi Imfurst picked up two stray dollars after a Celine Dion interlude and grumbled, “I guess I can get cheese on my Wawa hoagie tonight.”

Elsewhere, the Dollstar group numbers were spot-on as usual, with new girl Aida Snatchwell adding fishbone realness. That bitch is skinn-nee. The Goddess Isis, Misty Maven, and the one with the tits Navaya Shay all turnt it out together and in their respective numbers, and with the appearance of a coffin onstage and the reveal of an all-new curtain for the Dollhouse (it was swank!), along with Porcelain’s freak show the whole night was full of shocking behavior and over-the-top fun. Omyra Lynn’s partner in crime Lu also deserves recognition for the execution of a vampire seduction that was sexy and bloody in just the right proportions.

All this, and some pointed shade thrown Lady Gaga’s way, too. Sharon Needles took her opportunity to say a few words of encouragement to her fellow freaks, and criticized Gaga because she “has a millionaire father, got made fun of for her big nose once, and now she thinks she understands us?” Regardless of how you feel about that sentiment, there was no doubt that Needless was adamant about expressing her support for social outcasts and misfits. During her time onstage, she demonstrated a flair for the disturbing, but also a sweetness and a goofy sense of humor. “I look scary but I’m actually really nice,” she gushed after her standing ovation. It was almost enough to make a guy forgive her for eating all that money. 

Below, a video excerpt of Porcelain’s suspension. It’s not for the faint of heart!

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