RuPaul’s Drag Race Episode 9

Executive Director of PhillyGayCalendar

RuPaul for President! This week the ladyboys tried to convince America they should be the first drag President of the United States. And Michelle Visage is black.

Sashay: Oh Michelle Visage, you dizzy bitch.

Chante: One thing’s clear…I will NOT be voting for Ms. Visage for president. But I must say her titties looked fabulous this week.

Sashay: It’s a shame that none of these queens addressed the real issue plaguing our society, especially because it hits home for so many of us.

Chante: What’s that?

Sashay: Free universal dental care for drag queens. What was with Phi Phi’s crazy snaggle tooth? I thought she aligned herself with the left wingers, but her tooth wanted to go right!

Chante: Latrice, as usual, put it best: “A few minutes ago I realized how ugly Phi Phi is and I’m at peace with that.” She’s lucky the black queens didn’t take her down!

Sashay: Personally, I thought they were being too sensitive about it. All the shit these bitches have been through and they take issue with that? The joke was actually surprisingly clever for Phi Phi, but poorly delivered. It was not all that funny, but it did have shock value.

Chante: Regardless, Phi Phi wouldn’t get my vote. However, Sharon Needles would without doubt lead the United States into the future of drag.

Sashay: I love how Sharon Needles spoke with such conviction. She deserved to win that challenge.

Chante: Absolutely. And I LOVE how much Phi Phi can’t stand how the judges love Sharon.

Sashay: Plus, Sharon’s inauguration dress spoke volumes about the current state of politics in our country. Sometimes you vote for the well-dressed man on your TV screen, but end up getting something a little unexpected.

Chante: Yes…a government led by Sharon would be as transparent as her dress.

Sashay: Moving on. Dida seemed like a complete Dum-Dum. Nothing she said made any sense.

Chante: Yeah it was about time she sashay’d her ass home. As if she would outshine Latrice Royale in a lip sync.

Sashay: Speaking of Latrice, did anyone catch that red shirt and blue knit cap she was wearing in the confessional? She was serving Fat Albert realness.

Chante: Hey hey hey!

Sashay: Which brings us to our next topic. Which queen will be getting a second chance?

Chante: I think it’s going to be little Miss Kenya Michaels.

Sashay: That little gremlin? My guess is Jiggly Caliente.

Chante: ICK. If they bring that bitch back, I will shit a brick.

Sashay: And I will throw the brick at my television screen. I’d vote for Kenya. What they need to do, is a double elimination. Start weeding these heffas out.

Chante: Well, you knew they were gonna bring a queen back. Ru thinks she’s being sneaky, but I totally expected it.

Sashay: You so smart girl! You is kind. You is smart. You is important. Can I get an Amen?

Chante: AMEN!!!

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