RuPaul’s Drag Race 5.7

Executive Director of PhillyGayCalendar

This week the queens used their comedic prowess to read each other and roast EVERYONE!

Chante: There is no other way to begin except to give props to one of the best moments of Drag Race history: Roxxxy Andrews pulling off one wig to unveil another wig that she then proceeded to whip back and forth. Amen, I say Amen!

Sashay: That was well-planned, however, I was really impressed with Alyssa’s lip sync performance as well. Who knew she could whip her head around like that without any voices falling out?

Chante: …or any colagen from her lips for that matter.

Sashay: Plus, she didn’t even trip over her overbite. That’s talent!

Chante: Werk! Well, I must say, I am glad that Miss Thunderfuck finally emancipated herself from the bullshit that was Rolaskatoxx.

Sashay: Yes, that was getting stupid. Every queen needs to rely on her own charisma, uniqueness, nerve, talent, and now funniness. Yes, ladies that spells CUNTF… the “F” is silent.

Chante: That’s “Funntiness” hontey. Funnty. And can we talk about Santino’s bald head? It proved one thing: that he looks better in a hat.

Sashay: If that hat has a bag attached to it, then yes. Speaking of Santino, which former queen would you most like to see replace him?

Chante: I’d have to say Mimi Imfurst. She’s loud, has no taste, and will most likely inevitably end up bald…all like Santino. I mean, have you seen that hot mess on Wednesday nights at Voyeur?

Sashay: I saw that bitch at Bump back in the day. Speaking of which, can somebody please bring back Bump? That baby aspirin martini had me lit up! Back to the task at hand, I would love to see Jujubee as a judge because she was funny and flawless.

Chante: In her own wise words…

Thoughts about Ms. Montrese’s victory?

Sashay: Of course Coco would win with all her years and years and years and years of life experience.

Chante: Girl, I think you forgot one more set of years. Old girl’s a drag granny at this point.

Sashay: Well you know what they say girl, “Black don’t crack,” … it must be that orange Tang she using.

Chante: Mmmm….Tang…I’m thirsty.

Sashay: I want her to be their spokesperson.

Chante: This AIN’T RuPaul’s Favorite Tang Race! I’m glad Roxxxy and Alyssa both got a reprieve. They’re both fierce queens.

Sashay: Yes, I think Ru made the right choice. I think Alyssa is a nut, but she cracks me up without even trying. Bitch is in her own world. And any bitch that can keep a wig on after all that whipping deserves cudos. I’m tired of these sloppy heffas on the streets with crooked shit.

Chante: Preach hontey! Can I get an amen?

Sashay: Amen!

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