The end of March 2006 was approaching, a little more than a month away from graduating with my bachelor’s degree at East Carolina University (ECU); this was my personal 9/11, a day I will never forget. As I was in the middle of my shift as a student manager at the student center, my phone rings. My sister does not usually call in the middle of the day so I figured this had to be important. What comes next would be the most relieving experience of my life. 

I ran into the storage closet behind the information desk, how ironic, because deep down I had a feeling that this was going to be big. My sister asked if I was gay; a close family friend told my family that I was.  I answered within seconds but in my head, it felt like a thousand years. I was ready to deny it but I could not lie; I have never lied to my sister and if anyone else should know first in my family, it had to be her and I said “yes.” Involuntarily, tears came rushing down and I sobbed as if I was at a funeral.

I had mixed feelings; my biggest concern was losing my family and disappointing my sister, whom I’m very close to. Kristine, my sister, did what she does best; she comforted me and said, “We love you.  We’ve always known and we were waiting for you.” I could not stop crying because this immense burden that everyone speaks of was lifted. It must have been a thirty-minute conversation, never mind that I left my co-worker by herself at the information desk.

For weeks, my sister and I talked more and more about my sexuality and I became more open and expressive about my emotions. My brother-in-law, whom I was intimated of since he was a marine, was so accepting and hearing him say that he loved me no matter what made me realize that everything was going to be fine. Coming out or, in my case, forced with the decision to come out, changed my life for the better. The coming out experience was the missing piece I needed to love others and myself. Within months, I entered into my first real relationship that lasted for over two years into graduate school.

My advice for those who are thinking of coming out is to surround yourself with amazing friends. If you are lucky to have an amazing family, it will only make the journey easier but if for some reason, you do not, it is not over. In our LGBT community, it is almost automatic that our friends become our family so you are never alone. Create a life for yourself, further your education and always be able to stand on your own so that one day you may be able to stand for someone.

Dave Bautista, 32, was born in the Philippines, raised in Jacksonville, North Carolina and moved to Philadelphia in May 2009. He is a Vocational Rehabilitation Counselor for the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania and a consultant for a private rehab facility as a Detox Counselor.