Gay Tip Controversy – FANTASTIC! A Commentary.

Executive Director of PhillyGayCalendar

Dayna Morales, a former Marine and a server at Gallop Asian Bistro in Bridgewater, NJ, posted a photo on Facebook earlier this month. It showed a restaurant bill with a line through the space for a tip. The diner also wrote, “I’m sorry but I cannot tip because I do not agree with your lifestyle.” A whole “He said/she said” has ensued and I am happy to say that another cat has leapt from the bag.

Being diplomatic, I will not judge. It is probably the server telling “her” truth, and the tight-wads were simply trying to use her sexuality to get out of paying her gratuity.   

For me, truth is personal and ever changing. I honestly cannot comprehend someone withholding due payment for services based solely on their sexuality. At the same time, heinous serial killers strike their innocent victims for the most bizarre and unixplicible reasons.

Did I just compare Dayna as the innocent victim of a serial killer? Or, is it the other way around? Whatever the case, the happy news is that the story has been written, published and people will have their choice of Team Dayna or Team Cheapskate. Conversation is open! Gay is very big right now; Gay Marriage is on every agenda from politicians to Popes. Gay Rights, Pride, and all sorts of wonderful miracles are happening right now. I would not allow myself to be victimized and sent back to the Ghetto by some family from JERSEY! They seem to be lower class bullies.

Right now, more people in the United States love us and support us than don’t. This is probably one of the best times for same sex attraction since ancient Greece. I’m glad I am alive to enjoy it but will be damned if I will give any more importance to this sort of nonsense than it deserves.

I think of Miley Cyrus and what she is currently engineering. She decided that Hanna Montana wasn’t working for her anymore and did her own musical version of BREAKING BAD. I am amused, appalled, jealous and proud. I feel the same way about us. In the case of Miley, everyone has an opinion. We would not want to be left out, would we? A century ago, there would have been no conversation like this. Fifty years ago no one would have listened to the receipt story. Twenty five years ago a story like this would have not have been interesting enough to print.  Some think we gays are great and some disagree. Some would steal our gratuity and some might actually tip better. The point is we are now swimming in the MAIN STREAM!

Pick one: President Obama, Streisand or Nicholas Sparks. Many love them (like me) and many do not. Are gays any better? I believe that we all have to see ourselves on a much higher level. We need to see that this type of thing is annoying but not fatal. This is not a definition of Dayna or being Lesbian. It is simply an action of unsophisticated hicks.

If we are true to ourselves, comfortable with ourselves, proud of ourselves and most important, love ourselves, we can easily move past this sort of thing and see that is was the restaurant guests that were saying a lot more about themselves than they were about the server.

We wanted equal rights and are getting them, slowly but surely. A silly story is part of it all. To have the opportunity to rise above it is priceless.      

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