Hey drag racers!

Sashay and Chante: are back and ready to ANALyze Ru’s new crop of queens.

Chante:: First thing’s first, Sashay. We have to address someone we missed last week – April Carrion – this season’s Latina beauty from Puerto Rico.

Sashay: Yes girl, yes. How could we forget her? As a boy, he’s adorable. In fact, if he got some Crest White Strips, I might just sit on his face.

Chante:: Speaking of Crest White Strips…can we send a lifetime supply to Trinity K. Bonet and what’s left of her grille?

Sashay: Agreed! However, did anyone peep this queen’s dentures? Joshua Jones got a grille like Sloth from the Goonies, but as Miss Bonet, she has a set of Julia Roberts’ chompers.

Chante:: Were we peepin’ the same queen, girl? Crystal meth is a bitch.

Sashay: Yes girl, it was the same queen! Watch next week and you’ll see what I’m talking about. Season three was about fake tits, Season 6 is all about the fake teeth.

Chante:: Well, on the positive end of the teeth spectrum, I give you Bianca Del Rio. Girlfriend was killin’ it last night with wit in HDS and fierce looks.

Sashay: Yes ma’am, I just hope she doesn’t turn into the Phi Phi O’Hara of the group. Speaking of personality, what did you think of Joslyn Fox and her quinceanera ensemble?

Chante:: Joslyn Fox…bless her simple heart. In the words of RuPaul…she reminded me of a wedding…something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, green, red, yellow, orange. Girlfriend just uses everything in her box.

Sashay: You should talk… with all the “things” that have been in your “box”. That brings us to Milk, the queen who’s not afraid to sport a gray beard.

Chante:: Milk – the Sharon Needles/Jinkx Monsoon/Pandora Box of Season 6. She just needs to stay in boy drag all the time and make milkshakes with me.

Sashay: Does a body good. Speaking of good bodies, how about Courtney Act’s? This is the fishiest queen I’ve ever seen!

Chante:: I have never wanted to kai kai with a queen more than with Courtney Act. She is perfection both in and out of drag. I’d really like to get to know her down unda.

Sashay: I bet you would. Moving on, Darienne Lake is the people’s choice contestant this year and I have to say, I think the people did good.

Chante:: She’s serving true FACE realness. Do I sense a future Miss Congeniality?

Sashay: Perhaps. She’s good at being the center of attention, but she’ll need to step up her fashion. Finally, it’s time to discuss Magnolia Crawford.

Chante:: Bad attitude. Bad look. Bad makeup. Her nose pointed her ass right out the door, girl. BYE FELICIA.

Sashay: Magnolia just couldn’t handle the pressure. But remember children, pressure is what turns coal into diamonds. Can I get an Amen?

Chante:: Amen!