Hey Drag Racers! Sashay and Chante have something to scream about. It’s this week’s episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race. The queens worked out some Mommy Dearest realness.

Sashay: Before we begin, did you remember to do your homework and peep Trinity Bonet’s fake grill piece?

Chante: You ain’t neva told a lie girl. Miss Bonet was sportin some true dentures. I hope she uses Polygrip.

Sashay: I have to say that after the last two episodes, I am team Milk, by which I mean the second group of girls. From the start, they have been exhibiting more charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent.

Chante: The only thing the first set of queens had to offer was Miss De La Creme. She carried them through this week’s challenge.

Sashay: True, but the bitch gotta try another look besides a Michelle Visage mirage. While I’m on team 1, can we just agree that Adore Delano is the most annoying thing since unsliced bread?

Chante: AGREED. Between her and Laganja Estranja, I can’t. Those two basic bitches need to twerk their asses on home.

Sashay: Drag racers, from now on, I will only refer to Adore Delano as the Mouthbreather. This bitch so dumb she don’t even know how to breathe through her nose. Nobody cares that you were on American Idol umpteen years ago with bad hair and lost.

Chante: Her voice didn’t get her anywhere on American Idol, and her broke ass acting almost got her sent home. And speaking of broke down bitches…I echo my sentiments of two weeks past…I give you Gia Gunn. That fake ass Kardashian wannabe has an empty tin can for a brain.

Sashay: For realz, she had the easiest part in the script. Plus, her runway ensemble was reminiscent of Queen Rita.

Chante: More like Ursula…except can somebody please send her ass under the sea?

Sashay: Yes girl, yes. That bitch looked like a barnacle, but we’ll get to Vivacious later. On to team 2, what do you think of Bianca Del Rio?

Chante: Bianca is a force to be reckoned with. She was fantastic in the main challenge and I predict will go very far this season.

Sashay: She’s definitely a contender, but I think this insult comic has some deep-seated issues which will likely be revealed on Untucked. I did appreciate her defense of Beyonce, but dang, let a queen dream (Trinity). Now, let’s talk about the elimination… a.k.a. Black Queen Down.

Chante: Bottom two twice in a row…it was Vivacious’ time to go. While I appreciated her charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talent, her dated club kid looks just weren’t cutting it.

Sashay: I’m sorry, but whatever she was oozing, was not charisma. This bitch said she takes her fierceness to the stage, but all I saw onstage was a cartoon Sonic the Hedgehog.

Chante: I was just afraid she was gonna poke someone’s eye out with that get up.

Sashay: Well, they were black and slightly phallic, but I just wasn’t swallowing what she was putting out.

Chante: You slut. Okay, now onto the winner. Miss Lake truly knows how to serve up FACE FACE FACE.

Sashay: Yes, well done. I also enjoyed April Carrion’s umbrella outfit and lip syncing.

Chante: Yes, Miss Carrion was lip syncing in the rain.

Sashay: Just don’t forget your jimmy coat.

Chante: Can I get an amen???

Sashay: Amen! And P.S. Drag Racers, next Monday is St. Patrick’s Day. Whenever the camera pans to “the Mouthbreather” take a shot! Warning: Do NOT play this game during Untucked!