Ten Ways to Survive Your Office Party

Executive Director of PhillyGayCalendar

#1. Before the party, find out who is paying for the liquour. Open bar? Merry Christmas! … Cash Bar? Start saving in July, you'll need all the cash you can carry.
#1.5 The old rule of "Drink 1 glass of water for every Spirit you induldge in" does not apply during an Office Party, in fact you should try and persuade people to let you sip their drinks, mixing liquor always ends well!

#2 You're not allowed to kiss that stud of a boss during regular work hours, but at the Office party, feel free to enjoy a little hands on learning.

#3 Arrive late, and make an entrance. How else will EVERYONE see your new blazer?
#3.5 A Santa hat and under ware does not qualify as holiday attire

#4. Find and stick with the oldest woman in the office, she'll have the best gossip AND as an added bonus you'll look remarkably younger standing next to her.

#5 Remember this isn't a gay bar, you can't complain about the influx of straight girls or "bros" … you also can't kiss them, or play with their jingle bells and get away with it.

#6 If you find yourself "gift-less" during a Secret Santa you forgot about, quickly take off your dress socks, wrap them in a cocktail napkin and hand them over. They are probably the most expensive gift that will be given that night.

#7 If the holiday party is in the office, bring a pillow. Sleeping at your desk is not comfortable.
#7.5 If the holiday party is at a restaurant, you don't have to worry about a pillow, the booths are probably comfortable enough to provide a good nights rest.

#8 Don't Eat. Bathing suit season is less than 5 months away #8.5 Try getting your co-workers to eat a lot, you'll look skinnier later.

#9 Don't bring your boyfriend. Hire a rent boy for the evening. They're probably better arm candy, and easier to get rid of when all you want to do post party is binge watch Netflix

#10 If you have a great time, just remember the next party is only 365 days away!
#10.5 If you have a bad time, just remember the next party is a whole 365 days away!

For some actually FUN holiday parties, check out our Holiday Party Party

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