I had heard rumors of a “Faux Queen” competition swirling around the “hood” for quite some time, but I always thought to myself, if I wanted to see over-painted women lip-syncing, I’ll just take a stroll down Market Street. Then, that little red blip of a notification popped up on my Facebook. I was informed that there really was a “Faux Queen,” and this was the competitions second cycle / season / iteration (I honestly can’t keep up with all of these terms). I still wasn’t sold on spending a Thursday with a bunch of vaginas, but then I saw the theme, “Disney Villains.” Like any good homo, I ran, not walked over to Voyeur to make sure I didn’t miss a single cackle or strut.

I’m now kicking myself in the butt for not attending this competition earlier. The ferocity of these women fills the entire venue, which lately seems hard to do. Speaking of “fill the venue” for the first time in a long time I couldn’t get a seat, does this mean attendance is finally back on an up-swing? I hope so! While all the numbers had strengths weaknesses, one number in particular was the clear winner of the evening… Magenta St. Cartier and her rendition of Ursula. Side note, Ursula has always been my main bitch. Whether I’m singing my own version of “Poor Unfortunate Souls” or picking my “I’m too sick to function I just need Disney” movie, I will always pick Ursula. So when it was announced that the next queen would be taking on the task, I crossed my arms and waited to internally judge. Just as quick as I crossed my arms, I uncrossed them to scream and flail, within the first 15 seconds, it was clear. Magenata St. Cartier was here to wreck the competition.

I opened my phone to put a reminder in my calendar for the finale (2/19) and while I was there, I stuck a reminder in for next weeks irregular show (NOT COMPETITION) featuring the Valentine winners from each season of Drag Wars.