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Drag Queen/KingRecently, Logo’s NewNowNext website listed 10 Reasons Why West Coast Gays Are The Best Coast Gays. I’m sure it was a well thought out and well researched article full of facts, research, well reasoned arguments. Okay I’m lying – it was full of crap. So let me take them one at a time to prove the poor misguided author, Ben Rimalower (yeah, that’s his name), wrong!
1. West Coast gays are tan
Sure skin cancer can be sexy, and everyone loves tanning mom, but that’s hardly a reason that west coast gays are better then anyone else. Let’s be honest, it’s 2015, anyone can get a tan. Tanning booths, tanning cream, etc – you don’t need the west coast for that!
2. West Coast gays enjoy better weather
I assume when they say west coast enjoys better weather they are of course not talking about Seattle. Yes LA gets some nice weather if you can see it under all that smog. Philly has some damn long cold winters, but you know what? It makes us appreciate the nice weather event more. After a long hard winter, that first day that it’s even slightly warm and the park is PACKED! The bars open their windows, and everyone is in a great mood. We love our outdoor festivals even more because of it. Plus, while not everyone loves the cold, a good snow day can be exciting, beautiful and fun – can’t go skiing in LA can you?
3. West Coast gays are up late for Skype sex
Really? Skype sex? Is this a thing? I guess when everyone lives a 20 minute drive from each other, skype sex is all the rage. You know what we have here in Philadelphia? REAL SEX! Log into Grindr and you can find dozens of guys within FEET of you all the time. Rather meet them in real life? Sure, you can WALK to a a dozen gay bars in minutes. (Hell we even know which bars have all the tops and bottoms in them). So have fun with your skype out there on the west coast – sounds stimulating.
4. West Coast gays never spoil TV shows
Awww, sounds like someone is bitter! One of the perks of being on the east coast is we get all the shows a few hours earlier then the west coast. That pesky rotation of the earth thing! And yes, as with anyone we like to go on line and talk about what we saw, gossip with our friends, post sassy memes from our favorite shows. If you don’t like it, stay off Facebook for a few hours before you watch TV. #sorrynotsorry
5. West Coast gays are less cliquey
Okay I’ll give you that. Philly is a cliquey city – very cliquey – what can I say, we are a very close knit town – next!
6. West Coast gays have more disposable income
I hardly find this to be the case. Sure there are millionaires and movie stars out there, but the average guy living in WeHo is hardly rich. They save their pennies from their acting job (okay let’s be honest, they are waiters) and struggle to afford their over priced rent as close to the cool part of town as they can. While here in Philly, almost every part of the city is close to the cool part of town. And our rent is much cheaper. And you can’t walk 2 feet through Woody’s without someone talking about their trip to PTown, or summer share in Rehoboth. We have it pretty sweet up here.
7. West Coast Gays can cook
You are kidding right? Philly boys can COOK! I have some amazing friends that are chefs and pastry chefs and even chocolatiers! The trick is – we don’t HAVE to cook. Philadelphia is one of the best restaurant cities in the world. Hundreds of amazing top notch restaurants within walking distance. And if you don’t feel like going out? Then work that grubhub and order from the hundreds of take out places in the city. Plus we have food carts! The west coast gays might not fully appreciate the amazing and diverse food you can get at amazing prices right on the corner.
8. West Coast Gays are chill
Here on the East Coast, we work hard and play hard. Of course we work tough jobs and keep the country running, and then on at night and on the weekends we play hard – parties, clubs, gay sports. It’s not for the weak of heart. Why would you want to be chill. Who wants to waste time being lazy and boring. There is so much to see and do in the city – we are always up for an adventure. (or a Qventure).
9. West Coast Gays have the best bodies
I doubt that. Sure you have a lot of actors and models – when you can spend all day long on your body of course you will look like you are chiseled out of marble, but let’s be honest, they won’t talk to you unless you are a producer or can afford $250 an hour. East coast gays are hot too, but approachable. Attitude in LA is infamous! I have never met anyone that didn’t have an LA bitchy attitude story. On the east coast we are all just out to have a good time. Buy us a drink and you will make a friend.
10. West Coast gays have cars
Cars? Who needs them! The east coast is all about walkable cities. Even in the dead of winter, we will still walk to the bars for a good time. Who needs a car when you have SEPTA, taxi’s, uber, lyft, zipcar – and everyone knows a lesbian with an extra Uhaul, right?
So as you can see, West Coast Gay’s aren’t better then East Coast Gays, they are just different. We have different things we value. Of course I think the values out here on the East coast are better but I’m a bit biased. So comment below – what makes the East Coast better??
