BuffBoyzz in a Bathhouse

Executive Director of PhillyGayCalendar

Don’t lie, you’ve contemplated visiting (or have visited) a bathhouse at one point in your homo life. Hell, after sharing my experience last Saturday with my girls (read: actual girls) at brunch on Sunday, even they were convinced the bathhouse was the place for them.

When the flyer for the BuffBoyzz visit to the Sansom Street Bathhouse circulated on my newsfeed, my interest was inherently peeked. Fully naked dudes walking around begging for my attention sounded like a good time. So I begged my editor to get me in so I could do a story and get to the bottom of these "Boyzz" of the bathouse.

Figuring I’d get more attention in just a towel, I approached the front desk hesitantly to ask for a locker. I gave them my name and the attendant was more than warm, he seemed genuinely excited to have me. He took me on a personal tour showing me the working of the bathhouse. From dry saunas to wet saunas, solo showers to group showers this place had it all and then some. I haven’t even mentioned the rooms this place had that would force me to rate this article X vs. the PG-13 I’m going for.

I was pleasantly surprised at the cleanliness of this bathhouse. I imagined shady and dirty; I was served bright and inviting. Our tour finally ended in the party room. Have you ever gotten to a food buffet and thought, well today’s my cheat day? That was the thought going through my mind as I carefully studied the 18 buff, tan, god-like studs stripped to their birthday suits parading around the room. I was smart and remembered business first, shenanigans later. I surveyed the room and picked the 4 guys I would question for this article. To make things easier on me, I decided to ask them the same 4 questions:
• What’s your sexual orientation?
• Are you single / does your S.O. know you’re doing this?
• How far is “too far?”
• Have you been on Buffboyzztv.com?

The guys primarily answered the first question the same way… one guy was ballsy enough to answer the first question with the truth. “I’m straight” said stripper #1 (I’d make up a name for him, but then I’d be making up a fake name for a guy already using a fake name… redundant). The other three strippers had a canned response and they all told me they were bisexual, two of them said it while rubbing my neck, the other while he was rubbing my… Uh, nevermind.

What strippers 2,3 and 4 don’t know is that stripper 1 gave the right answer. It’s almost every gay man's dream to get it on with a (hot) straight guy. So in my book Stripper #1 wins brownie points for either knowing his audience, or being honest.

Moving on to question two. It should be noted that these gentlemen had no incentive to tell the truth, then again they had no incentive to lie, so take their answers with a grain of salt (or sugar, if that’s your margarita preference). All of them were currently in a relationship with a girl. Strippers 1, 2 and 4 informed me their girlfriends had NO idea they were fully nude, but knew they were erotic dancers. Stripper #3 on the other hand has a fully open and full disclosure relationship with his woman. He even showed me pictures of her, a total babe… Where he got his phone from while being totally nude is a mystery I don’t care to solve.

The question I was most excited to ask was #3 “How far is too far?” The boys all had a fairly similar answer. There’s a fine line between a lap dance and prostitution, and they have all been trained and instructed on how to get close to it, without crossing it. Which leads them (and me, and us?) to our fourth question: have you been on Buffboyzztv.com?

The final question had a "dissapointing" answer, because it turns out, only one of the guys at the party had been featured on the website (which is growing rapidly!) Turning a patron on is half the battle, where the real business happens is on BuffBoyzztv.com. It’s the first porn site of it’s kind where the strippers that tease you, are the strippers that appear online and also go all the way. So at these nude parties, aside from making a quick $20 for a lap dance, the goal is to get the patrons so excited they purchase a membership for BuffBoyzztv. It’s there they can (digitally) go all the way with their fan base and show them everything they couldn’t in public.

Rumor has it the BuffBoyzz will be returning to Sansom Street Gym. I urge you to suck it up and pay the fairly expensive cover. Live a little. It’s not about being dirty, it’s about exploring a new side to your libido. It’s about realizing that bathhouses are actually a unique experience that every person should experience at least once.



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