An Open Letter to Philly about Pope-apocalypse

Executive Director of PhillyGayCalendar

Friends, Romans, City-men, lend me your ears, the day(s) we’ve been prepping for are finally upon us. Pope Francis and an estimated 1.2 million followers (real followers, not twitter follower) will filter into the city over the next few days.  My open-letter to the city as a whole was going to contain a list of rules I was basically going to beg you to follow, but to keep things short I’ve whittled the list down to one basic rule… Don’t Be a Dick.

I get it, you’re inconvenienced. You’ve had to move your car, adjust travel plans and now most of you have a day off from work on Friday (THE HORROR!) but consider all of the times you’ve “inconvenienced” others because of things you found important. You’ve traveled to other cities for Pride Parades, Concerts, Vacations to say the least and now it’s your turn to play host.  

But Chris, they’re Catholics, they don't tolerate homos, why should I like them?  Because you’re a bigger person then they are and it’s time to show them how fabulous you are.  Also, read a newspaper, a lot of Catholic sectors (and the Pope himself) have come out to say that Gay isn’t so bad! 

Sure there might be an influx of trash or a strenuous clean up that might require you to sweep the sidewalk, but I promise you, it won’t be worse than any time a Philadelphia sport team celebrates win or mourns a loss in a World Series / Superbowl / Hockey Finale Game Thing (NO idea what this game is called). 

So this weekend when you see a visitor incapable of navigating one of the world’s easiest grid system cities, chuckle first (in your head) and then offer guidance. It’s your chance to be a hero, relish in the power that is knowledge and then go grab a beer, you’ve earned it.

If things get messy and you’re stressed out, just think of all #PopePerks you’ve gotten over the last few months.  Freshly paved streets (Bye Potholes!) A Wawa that was rushed to completion 2 months early, a day off of work, new guys to browse on Tinder and Grindr, freshly landscaped parks, and national attention.  

Whine all you want, this isn’t just “another” event.  This is something bigger than our city, bigger than our country, the entire world will be watching.  Show them how awesome our city is. Have some Philly Pride and show the world we’re capable of being grown ups.


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