Alan Cumming Made me Cum

Executive Director of PhillyGayCalendar



I was originally charged to write an overall review of my time at the Borgota Resort in AC, culminating with my thoughts about Alan Cumming’s show “Alan Sings Sappy Songs,” but… then I spent an entire evening with Alan (ya, we’re basically on a first name basis now) and his crew at Atlantic City’s only gay bar (and then Alan’s room), so I’m just going to give you an inside look into Alan via my evening with him. Stay tuned for a seperate piece on how AWESOME The Water Club @ The Borgatta is! 

Let’s start with the show. In brief, Alan Cumming’s Cabaret is mind glowingly seamless. Cabarets are tough, you need to be a special breed to successfully blend emotional stories with poignant songs, and Alan nailed it. A majority of the evening focused on the relationships Alan had developed over the years, but most stories circled back to the “tea set” between his legs, aka Cumming’s Cock. He told a story about getting a tattoo of an ex-lover’s name removed from his nether regions, and sang a jingle called "Ecstasy," which he’d written with Horne for an ad for Trojan condoms that also featured Ricki Lake. When discussing the middling reviews for his Broadway show "The Threepenny Opera," he couldn’t help but wisely note: “If you get a bad review for your performance but a good review for your cock, it balances out.” My favorite two numbers were mashups. A Stephen Sondheim mash-up “No One Is Alive While I’m Around” located the composer’s recurrent musical tropes. A similar medley of hits by Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, and Adele identified similar patterns in contemporary pop. At the same time, his rendition of Adele’s “Someone Like You” dug up the song’s heartbroken essence.

Alan owes a lot of this show’s success to his musical director, pianist and sometime collaborator, Lance Horne, and Eleanor Norton on cello, they both proved to be AMAZING people on stage and off. Speaking of off stage, it was Lance Horne that helped cement my evening with Alan. He chose for his encore "The Ladies Who Lunch," Stephen Sondheim’s ode to the ennui of New York’s wealthiest women, and he sang it while enjoying a full martini.

Post show, the handsome gentleman (dressed sharply in a crisp white shirt and black tie, pseudo Mormon chic) approached the group of homos I was standing with.

“Hi, I’m Alan’s personal assistant Jimmy, you guys look like fun, where are you partying tonight? Alan is looking for fun!” he questioned.

“You’re going to wanna drive an hour west to Philly,” our own R. Eric Thomas replied without missing a beat.

Jimmy smiled, and we quickly let him know our plans for the evening which included MurMur, the Borgata’s own night club, and then a trip off “campus” to Atlantic City’s only gay bar, the Rainbow Room.  

The Philly gays and I, departed to MurMur, and stood by the door out of fear of being trampled by the countless cookie cutter ladies walking wearily in their heels and mini skirts. It was clear after a half hour Alan wasn’t coming, so we did what every good homo does, and called an Uber to take us to our people. While waiting for an Uber it happened, Lance (Mr. Cumming’s accompanist) reached out to me on Instagram. He asked me where we were, and 3 quick messages and the promise of a Drag show was all it took for he, Alan, and Jimmy to depart the Borgata and taxi themselves over to us.

 

Unfortunately, local drag sensation Jenna Tall, had already finished her set, so without hesitation I approached her and name dropped Alan’s name, informed her he was on his way and asked her to put the wig back on. Without hesitation she hopped up in her 7 inch heels and was ready to rehash her earlier performance. Alan, Jimmy, and Lance arrived shortly after and the evening had officially begun….

Let me start by apologizing for Fan Girling, but Alan is by far, one of the sweetest and most genuinely kind people I have met. I kept attempting to interview him for this article, but he would continuously turn the questions around and ask to get to know me more. What I can tell you is that his favorite city to play is Indianapolis, his favorite Sondheim musical to sing is Sweeney. He has a new found obsession for everything Kander and Ebb, and Miley Cyrus holds a soft spot in his heart. He was kind enough to buy all of my drinks even before I told him about my goal of a NoSpendNovember. Lance and Jimmy proved equally as delightful and talented (and attractive!). The night wore on, and I checked the time, it was 2:45… I’m not sure if the bar was allowed to stay open, but they did for us. At 3, Jimmy took the reins and said it was time to head back to the Borgata, I prepared myself to say my goodbyes until Alan spoke up in his suave scottish accent “No night can end without a night cap in my suite while listening to my music.” We all obliged, and 6 of us piled into an UberXL to quest back to the 31st floor of the Borgata. 

We entered the room and out came the bottles of vodka, I felt like I was in the most relaxed music video ever. Conversation was fluid, smiles were genuine and their was no feeling of “I’m better than you.” Enter Eleanor and her boyfriend, they had picked blackjack over gay bars earlier, but were quick to join in on the nightcap(s). For the sake of privacy, we’re gonna fast forward to 5 am. It was time for goodbyes, I thanked Alan and his crew for an unforgettable night and made my way back to my hotel room. Walking through the casino I wanted to question whether people had gotten an early start on the slots, or hadn’t slept yet, but instead I got lost in my head and tried to commit to memory the adventure I had just left…  Until your next visit, Alan. 

 

Read Related Posts...

An energetic Joseph and His Amazing  Technicolor Dreamcoat at The Algonquin

The international musical hit, Joseph and His Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat is now onstage in Manasquan, NJ, at The Algonquin Arts Theatre until October 20th. With Music by Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber, and Lyrics by Tim Rice, this celebrated musical wowed London, New York, and just about everywhere else. Now, Joseph and His Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat is wowing the packed…

Read more