Ian Morrison, alter ego Brittany Lynn

Executive Director of PhillyGayCalendar

As I sit here surrounded by scattered sheets of paper, with scribbled words, phrases, dates and questions, I wonder if I will ever be able to do justice to the two hour phone interview I did the other night with Ian Morrison, with alter ego Brittany Lynn in tow. The sounds of his 150 pound German shepherd and his 18 pound cat still ring in my ears, as they each fought for the lap of the whirling dervish that is their father. He is never home, he is that busy.

I had to tell him that I think that we knew each other “back in the day”. He apologized, as did I, for whatever we might have done or said to each other back then. We are talking the 90’s. Neither one of us can remember much about the haze of those days, but we narrowed it down to possibly knowing each other from Shampoo Nightclub, where he was a host with “The Drag Mafia”, or the now defunct, Hepburns, where he found one of his drag fairy godmothers, Ms. Tinsel Garland, which we both agreed was a bisexual club for five seconds after the lesbian nightclub closed and then became The 12th Air Command. We both went to the same college, Temple University, at the same time, and went to The Rocky Horror Picture Show extravaganza at The Theater of the Living Arts on South Street, except he was in it and I was merely watching it. I can’t help but sit here, after this interview, and think that this boy has lived a million lives and he will only be 38 on his upcoming birthday this month. Did I mention he is a virgin to boot?

The guy, or lady, depending on the day and the time, is everywhere you turn, entertaining every demographic that you can think of. If you have two eyes, or one and an eye patch even, and a computer, you have seen Ms. Brittany Lynn hosting everything from “Show us Your Tunes” on the first Sunday of every month at Tavern on Camac, shoved into the tiny space with his wig touching the ceiling at Bob and Barbara’s on a Thursday or every single Sunday hosting “Drag your Ass Outta Bed for Brunch” at The Trestle Inn.

But what about this guy? I asked him if there was a question that no one ever asks him in interviews that he has always wanted to answer and he replied that “no one ever asks him about his personal life”. That door was open and I ran in like I was first in line for a midnight sale on power tools at Home Depot. Off he went with tales of how he is a loyal Pisces, even sticking with slot machines at the casinos that haven’t won him a penny, who has never experienced “rear entry”. I know, for real, never. He is about to be the 38 year old virgin. He expressed how jealous he was of natural born women and “their extra holes” and how we run around and flaunt the fact that we have three, while he is left with two. Don’t get him wrong, he is “open to it”, as it were, but he has to be in love first and he admittedly might not have been in love yet. Oh, well, there was that one time, but, coincidentally, the night he was going to give up his virginity, they broke up.

He is an unusual queen, who is both Catholic and Jewish, had a Bar Mitzvah and everything, who couches his stand up in karma. He never wants to hurt people’s feelings or have them walk away feeling battered or belittled. More than likely, he will be the butt of his own joke. I was hooked about five minutes in, feeling like maybe I met a kindred soul or, at the very least, my drag fairy godmother.

He has always been performing and is celebrating his fifteenth year as an entertainer. He went to what he deemed “drag boot camp” when he was a teenager in “Rocky Horror”, having to learn every single line for every character in the performance. He was still “straightish” then. After he realized that he needed to get out there and be with his people, he found an ally in Ms. Tinsel Garland in 1996. He was in a sea of transsexuals back then and one of the only white boys. He learned fast how to dodge a screwdriver (and not the drink) in the dressing room, where the competition for makeup or hair was fierce. It was a tough crowd, but he learned all the tricks of applying makeup and keeping your lashes and hair on. This is no small feat, especially with wigs that are upwards of a foot high.

He went on to be a party host at Shampoo, the hottest club in the city in the 90’s, with its mix of straights, gays and everything in between. I had a little silver sleeveless dress that I used to wear there with knee high boots. I know, you can’t believe it or picture it, but I had to if I wanted to get in. These were the days that you HAD to be dressed to get into the club and Ian misses the glamour. He started his “Drag Mafia” and his own production company called Shade Productions. He and his three partners were the people to be in touch with if you wanted your party to be “the party” to go to. It was a life filled with limos, private jets and “party favors”. They did parties everywhere in New York, The Hamptons and in Canada. It was non stop and he carved a niche for himself in Philadelphia as well.

He was former Govenor Ed Rendell’s date during Shampoo’s party for his then mayoral re-election, Dennis Rodman and Jenna Jameson’s date to Chrome nightclub, performed for the mayor at the opening of The Constitution Center in Philadelphia and even got to perform on Fox 29 during Barbra Streisand’s “last concert” in 2001.

He has lived quite a life with fame and fortune in the past, and even gave it up for a few years when he says “the music died”, but continues to reinvent himself in hopes of not only “teaching the ‘girls’ empowerment and learning how to stick up for yourself in what you do”, but he still aspires to be the one thing he has not been, just a guy, sans wig, singing, telling stories and jokes and entertaining people. He has had the great fortune to open up for the person that he wants to be, Sandra Bernhard, when she was at Pure (now Voyeur) nightclub. For him, she is the perfect mix of everything that he enjoys in an entertainer-music, dance, song, sarcasm, wit and humor.

He continues to get out of bed to put on a show, even though his bones ache in a way that we have only reserved for “old people”, because he is a Pisces.  He would die (my words, not his) if he wasn’t constantly entertaining and creative.  He says that that is their way and he will abide by it until the last curtain call.

In addition to the shows mentioned, he has also started a “Drag Mafia 2” at Icandy  for the all ages set and will be the host for “Dragapalooza” on March 31st

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