Most relationships seem fickle in today’s society.
When you take into account the number of guys who use Smart Phone dating apps, like Scruff or Jack’d, to “Hang Out” (aka Fuck) and the divorce rate with people who are currently on their second or third marriage, one must wonder: does love even exist anymore?
Naturally there is the kind of love we’re born into, like the love of our families and the love of our friends, which develops over time. But when it comes to relationships, it seems like more people like to take the fast food approach towards love.
They want the instant gratification of knowing there’s someone there to cuddle, kiss or have sex with but tend to distance themselves when things become a little too deep and involved. Conversely, there’s also the cycle of chasing the man who doesn’t want you because he’s chasing after a man who doesn’t want him.
If you’ve ever used one of the aforementioned apps, or any “Dating” (aka Fuck) website, then you’re familiar with the layout. There are hundreds of photos of men showcasing their best poses, smiles and body parts to compete for your attention. Then, instantly following these photos comes The Disclaimer. It’s a laundry list of demands used to stop Mr. Wrong dead in his tracks:
No fats, fems, blacks, whites, Asians, short guys, gym rats, guys with tats or piercings or guys without cars.
When the person who owns the profile gives a brief description of who they are it’s presented in a manner where they’re virtually flawless:
I’m an educated, funny, smart, nice, sweet, down to earth, fun loving, regular guy who works out five times a week and loves puppies, hugs, ice cream and great sex.
It would appear that the flaw comes in when you eliminate a lot of potentially great guys based off of your description of a perfect man that doesn’t exist. Is it possible to find the type of man you want? I believe it is. But if you solely base it on physicality then you shouldn’t be surprised when the perfectly handsome guy of your dreams turns out to be a jerk or a hoe, or, even worse, a commitment-phobe.
A true relationship isn’t based solely on looks because if that’s all you have to go off of you’re not going to make it through the rough storms of life together. His looks will change and yours will too.
And though I know the trend is moving towards fast, quick samplings of all the men out there, being together for three months does not constitute a real relationship. Hell, I’m keeping my mustache and beard for the next three months until it gets warm outside so it’s safe to say that I’m not committed to it at all.
Everyone wants love but they search for it with conditions and addendums. I think that love still does exist and people can still connect on a human level that surpasses the physical. But when it’s all based in the composition of a man whose looks and sex appeal rival that of porn stars and celebrities, perhaps it’s time for us to turn the mirror around and ask ourselves if we, too, can live up to what we’re requesting in our potential mate’s physical appearance.
Or better yet, rather than what he looks like, let’s answer the question if we can live up to the characteristics that he should possess. And if you’ve never given that any thought before, perhaps you should start with that question first.