First seen on Starz, Season One of The Serpent Queen can now be seen on Amazon Prime, while Season Two is leaving a bloody trail on Starz. Season One began September 11, 2022 on Starz, while Season Two began on July 12, 2024. Amazon Prime continues to feature Season One. Let’s dig into the first season.

The Serpent Queen is an American historical drama series about Catherine de Medici, Duchess of Urbino and the sixteenth century queen of France. Samantha Morton, age 47, stars as Catherine de Medici, who married into the royal house of France at age 14, and ruled for 30 years. Her young self was Liv Hill. Married to Henri II (a young and lovely Alex Heath), he was the “spare,” as many have styled the younger heir, while the Dauphin, the heir to King Francois I (an earthy Colm Meany) was a snot-nosed ass of a prick. 

But we go too fast. The backstory is that Catherine’s father was a rake who contracted syphilis and went insane, killing himself. He was followed by his infected wife who threw herself off the palace to her death, leaving little Catherine in the care of psychotic, sadistic nuns. The lesson to be learned here is that no matter how wealthy and influential your family may be, once they disappear, you’re on your own.  Mercenaries invade the convent and kidnap Catherine, who they keep on the street like a dog until Pope Clement VII (played in an expert, cheesy manner by Charles Dance) comes to pick up his niece for a few ducats. The murderers balk, and want more money, which makes the Pope pull the ace up his sleeve and threaten them with excommunication and eternal hellfire. They are persuaded to cooperate. 

Catherine is considered plain, and is dressed up to travel to France along with the Pope. The Papal states need a French alliance, that they can buy with Catherine. At age14, she must have looked a lot like other girls of 14. 

Catherine uses her wits to resolve the Pope’s attempt at cheating the King out of most of the dowry. We soon see the Pope lying on the floor bubbling from his mouth, with courtiers standing over him saying, “Die, Medici pig!” Saving the day with her wits, she weds the teenaged Henri. 

The wicked older woman is Diane de Poitiers (an unhinged-looking, hysterical Ludivine Sagnier), who seduced Henri in childhood, and continues to be his sex magic drug. 

You may ask, how much eye candy is there? Well, one outstanding specimen is Montmorency, played by the smoldering Barry Atsma. He is tall. He is handsome, and he exudes big dick energy. Trying to discover more about this silver daddy leads one to plenty of videos, but none are in English. If you like bears, Colm Meany, Francois I, at one point gets out of bed and shows a lot of bear daddy bod. Rupert Everett is the Holy Roman Emperor Charles V, King of Spain. He looks totally unrecognizable. He appears to have escaped from one of Sergio Leone’s old westerns starring the young Clint Eastwood. Smarmy doesn’t do him justice at all. If you like Colombian drug lords, he’s your dish. 

Catherine is a complex ball of wax. Scarred by having to live by her wits, she occasionally acts in perverse ways. Of course, the writers, we are told, take much liberty with historical truth, occasionally bending it into baroque curlicues. Some bizarre events include having the crazy zealot Mary, Queen of Scots (Catherine’s daughter-in-law), cut off a Protestant noble’s pinkie.

The running theme of Season One appears to be “Trust No One.” Enjoy Season One now on Amazon Prime.