Alright, let's get it out of the way, I had high hopes for King Cobra. I was excited for a gay thriller with the promise of some skin and sin. Incase you prefer your porn without stories of murder and have no idea what this movie is about… SPARKNOTES of a TRUE STORY: 8 years ago King Cobra (porn studio) finds a fresh new twink (Brent Corrigan) and begins filming some amazing movies that become super popular! King Cobra is under paying Brent, so he tries to "model" for another Porn Company (Viper Studios). Whoops, Brent is under contract and can't legally film with Viper. So, instead of Viper taking the high road and making Brent finish his contract before stealing Brent, the studio heads at Viper decides to kill the head of King Cobra Studios so they can have Brent. How could this movie not be awesome!?

Top Reasons King Cobra Failed Me

For being a thriller, My eyes wandered and I began to ponder who first decided speakers in theatres should go behind the projector screens. I also heard quite a few literal snores from the folks around me. Director Justin Kelly may be hot, but when it comes to directing he lacks an understanding of pacing. A movie about porn with no penis? C'mon, you know half (if not more) of your audience is here for the promise of nudity, the butts were great, but let's go the full monty next time. I understand having just a main story line to cut down on costs / need for extras, but I would have loved some more back story or secondary characters having their own drama for me to get lost in.

Like all reviews, take this with a grain of salt, you might love this movie (you probably won't). It might be a good movie to put on in the background while you're folding laundry or cooking dinner, but don't plan on becoming heavily invested. All we can hope for now is that Bianca Del Rio's "Hurricane Bianca" fulfils our need for a new gay classic.