Wicked, the Musical, is now a film, and it is a great success at the box office and for Universal/Comcast.

Based upon the books by L. Frank Baum, which served as the source material for the iconic 1939 film musical classic, The Wizard of Oz, which inspired the film The Wiz, starring Diana Ross, Nipsey Russell, Michael Jackson, and a host of others, and the hit musical The Wiz. We now have the long-awaited film version of the Broadway and international hit Wicked. 

As the entire United States of America knows by now, the film stars Cynthia Erivo as Elphaba, and Ariana Grande as Glinda. The delicious, kissable, witty, charming Jonathan Bailey is Prince Fiyero, who bursts onto the film as ultra sexual bibelot both women become smitten by. Including many boy students who appear to enjoy spontaneous ejaculations at his glance or touch. 

The film explains that Elphaba is the love child by an extramarital liaison between Mom and a mysterious stranger. What a stranger. Surprise! When Elphaba is born, her skin is mossy green. Big oopsie. Her sister Nessarose is handicapped because mom was compelled to dine upon magic flowers which guaranteed her pink skin, but left her unable to walk. She is off to wizard university. Elphaba escorts her. She then meets Glinda, an insufferably privileged girl who has yet to meet anyone who has ever told her no. She’s pinker than Barbie. Elphaba gives off a strong butch dyke presence even without a ring of keys. She does have some mean Joan Crawford shoulder pads which seem to grow upon meeting Glinda.

Naturally, ultra femme Glinda immediately becomes drawn to Elphaba. Complications ensue when Michelle Yeoh as Madame Morrible brings Lesbian Sorcery into the mix. Madame is all over Elphaba because of her “Magic,” an old story. 

Compelled to share a room, Elphaba and Glinda battle, then become deep, deep “friends.” At one musical number the two women are rolling around in bed. Glinda wears a chiffon-based negligee thing which swirls about Elphaba in most suggestive fashion. At one point, we feared that as Glinda sang and danced about the supine Elphaba in a hormonal storm, we expected Glinda to wrap her legs around Elphaba’s face. Close, but no.

Jonathan Bailey as Prince Fiyero blows into the story by nearly trampling Elphaba as he rides his talking horse around at night in the forest. He later stars in an incredible musical number in of all places a library. But not any old library. Part of it spirals and spins, in homage to Stanley Kubrick’s 2001:A Space Odyssey. The towering stairwell spins about as dancing students spin and tumble, Fiyero stomping upon books, shocking sheepish redheaded boys, and exuding maximum charm and a tsunami of testosterone, seduces all of us, Glinda, and even, yes, Elphaba, who also fascinates Fiyero with her manly pheromones.

After this spectacle, a most marvelous effect is the magnificent train to the Emerald City. 

Skipping over many musical numbers, which includes one number by Elphaba running through grasslands, and hitting spectacular high notes ala the young Barbra Streisand. Amazing! 

Of course, the shady Wizard and even shadier Madame turn the beat around, making Elphaba turn against both. In a shocking, and not kid-friendly, scene, we see how Elphaba casts a spell to give the hunky monkey army wings. Extreme! What a celebration of surprise.

The history professor at the University is not only a G.O.A.T., but a real goat, which leads into a sinister subplot which allows fabulous special effects scenes of animals discussing strange oppression, but also allows Elphaba to bond with the professor. Peter Dinklage is the voice of Professor Dillamond.

Fun fact: Idina and Kristen appear in a camp musical number.

Enough plot spoilers. But … the conclusion is striking, breathtaking, and unforgettable. Madame may have lost Elphaba, but her talons clutch into the pink, fluffy Glinda, thereby separating Elphaba from Glinda, ensuring Glinda’s Sapphic Enslavement to the dark side.

All of this disturbs Fiyero. He doesn’t want to marry extremely feminine Glinda, but knows that his love for Elphaba is doomed. He rides off, hopefully to cause testosterone-fueled dance numbers in Part 2.

Even at my seniors’ bargain matinee, there was applause at the film’s end.

We hear that dancing and singing to the musical numbers will be encouraged in the cinema on Christmas Day. 

Wicked, the Musical, is a modern masterpiece. 

Dazzling special effects, great singing, male beauty, even a plot. You can’t ask for anything more.