Hello my little kiddies, I’m back – you didn’t think I’d be gone for long. And this time I’m here for a very important reason. Voting! I know, I know – you are sick of hearing it, and the last time you voted, Sanjaya got kicked off Idol and you’re a little bitter, and let’s be honest, the last time I went into a small booth and closer the curtain, I met my future ex-husband, but I digress

Miss Information is a little pissed about all this. My panties are all in a bunch! And let me tell you why. The media sucks! Not all media, I do love that adorable Stephen Colbert. I even got to make out with him back stage at Penn this week – what a kisser! And he was able to get Both Hillary and Obama on his show on the same day. But the one theme I have heard over and over again was "We are sick of these non-issues!"

I don’t care about snipers in Bosnia, I don’t care about who the hell is bitter, I don’t care if anyone wears a stupid flag pin, I don’t care about any of that. And if you do, then you are more a gossip queen then even yours truly! None of that matters and people are standing up and saying it.

But even with all this uproar, The Pennsylvania Debate was embarrassing. 30 minutes spend on these stupid trivial issues, and when they get to the good stuff, like gas prices, it was in the "lightning round." What is this? Jeopardy? Fuck you, Charlie Gibson and your little pocket pundit Stephanopoulos. We want the issues!!!

So what are the issues, and who is better? Well we have two amazing candidates, and lucky for us, they are almost identical on the issues. With just a few exceptions they are similar on health care, education, the war, gay rights. It’s like a vote between Jack Johnson and John Jackson. What’s a drag queen to do?

Well here are some thing Miss Information needs to bitch about!

Don’t Put Your Foot in Your Mouth – I can think of better things to put there

Hillary misspoke about snipers in Bosnia, Obama misspoke about using the term bitter. Oh girl, please. Miss Information has been known to run her mouth and say things she might later regret. It doesn’t mean that’s exactly how I think or will run my life. I mean let’s be honest, I’d never want to fuck Charlie Gibson. So let’s not get hung up on every little mistake they make and look at the big picture!

All Talk, No Plan

Miss Information has heard this quite a lot, specifically on my cutie Barack. That he’s all talk and no plan. Well honey there is this magic thing called the internet! Log on and both candidates have all the issues spelled out in detail. And in case you don’t know how to use Google, here are the secret sites you might want to check out: HillaryClinton.com and BarackObama.com.

Brainwashed

Okay this is one that makes Miss Information the most pissed. I have heard this over and over again. "Oh you are voting for that candidate? You people are brainwashed!" Oh bitch, get over yourself! Disagreeing with your does not mean I’m brainwashed. I’m educated (graduated Magna Cum Loudly) I read the blogs, news, reports and sites. I check PhillyGayCalendar’s Politics Page. I know the issues and I’m making an educated decision just like you are. You are not any better or smarter then I am because you chose the other candidate. And let’s be honest, they are very similar, so those that claim their candidate is far superior to mine…well you are the one that isn’t paying attention.

If My Candidate Doesn’t Win, I Won’t Vote!

Oh faggot, please! Just because you lost, you are gonna cry, take your ball and go home and ruin it for the rest of us. Both candidates have made it very clear that even if they don’t win, they will fully support the nominee and so should you! How many people worked their asses off over the centuries so that you can vote and you are gonna sit home and whine. Get over yourself, princess. You think having the other democrat in office is bad, just wait until McCain takes office because you didn’t vote. Oh, and if you don’t vote, then you can’t complain – you lost your chance to have a voice.

Who is Miss Information Backing?

While Miss Information is backing a fair and civil election process, I’m voting on the people of Philadelphia and Pennsylvania to do a good job. But I must admit I am voting for Obama. With the two candidates so amazingly similar in almost all the issues, it comes down to who I think will take this country in the direction I want it to go on. Obama is the first presidential candidate since Miss Information has been voting (and believe me honey, it’s been awhile) that has not played the games we are all so sick of. He sees past the games and pushes through to the issues. His ideas are at another level. It’s nice to have a politician that doesn’t speak down to us (although some of us need that, believe me!) I have faith that when elected, Obama will change this country in some amazing ways and we will soon be saying "Bush who?"

So my little Primary Princesses, Pennsylvania is in the spotlight for the first time for the primaries, it’s time we pulled together and show the country, the world, how we can work together to elect an amazing Democratic president that will go forth and win the national election with everyone backing them. This is not the time for petty fights, bitchiness and the pathetic bickering that makes us look so bad in this global spotlight. Let’s do a civil duty in a civil manner, make love not war and make Miss Information smile. And if you can do that, Miss Information will buy you a shot next time she sees you out at Woody’s.

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