Dearly beloved…we are gathered here in the presence of YES GAWD. This week the queens became drag mothers as they beat the faces of grooms to be.

Chante: Let’s start from the top…top five I mean. We’re nearing the final stretch girl, and I ain’t mad about this final group of queens.

Sashay: Please, this should have been a double elimination week. Joslyn Fox was sweet, but had no chance. And frankly my dear, I’m tired of the Mouthbreather a.k.a. Adore Delano. She is a sloppy excuse for a drag queen if I ever saw one. Adore is an attention whore. Did you see those pictures he released of himself practically naked? Someone wasn’t held enough as a child.

Chante: What adore lacks in refinement, she makes up for in personality. Girl, she’s funny…and that’s what Ru sees. Don’t you worry, though…she’ll be sashaying away soon enough.

Sashay: She ain’t as funny as Bianca Del Rio and her alleged personality, which this queen finds mostly annoying, hasn’t helped her in recent challenges where it should have.

Chante: Well, we can all agree that Bianca continues to put the other queens to shame, week after week. I think this episode marked her third win. All hail Bianca!

Sashay: It’s nice to see that RPDR has evolved from focusing on fashion to including entertainment value as well. Moving on. Girl, where do they find straight men that don’t mind being done up in drag? Northern Liberties? University City?

Chante: Well this batch of men all looked much better with their faces beat, so they definitely must’ve came from Camden.

Sashay: Bitch, whatchu got against Camden? That city ain’t never did anything to you but show up on all of your Facebook statuses.

Chante: Bitch, I ain’t from Camden! Can State Rep. Brian Sims please fix that ASAP? Anyway, what are your thoughts about Joslyn’s work this week? Bianca’s comment about the one girl gremlin was PRICELESS.

Sashay: Agreed! That boy looked as bad as Coco Montrese with that metallic makeup and red clown wig. I’m sad Trinity K. Bonet wasn’t around for this challenge. At least she knew how to beat a face.

Chante: Joslyn’s work was obviously sickening…so much so that her drag daughter just threw up all over the place.

Sashay: Yeah, that’s the wrong kind of sickening. Can we move on to something more appetizing like Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka?

Chante: Oh god yes. By far the best guest judges yet. Who do I write to get NPH to officiate my wedding? Who am I kidding…if he officiated my wedding, I would obviously be leavin’ my man for NPH.

Sashay: Leave it to a whore like you to break up gay royalty. However, I had to disagree with NPH’s review of Darienne Lake when he said it was his least favorite. Her “goth” wedding wasn’t horrible. I think she totally looked like someone’s mom. I think the real problem is that Darienne is just coasting.

Chante: Don’t be clockin’ me boo! As for Darienne’s work this week, I think it was subpar, and she was right where she belonged…in the bottom three.

Sashay: I wonder if the straight guys tucked this year? You gotta tuck if you’re gonna sissy that wedding. Can I get an amen?

Chante: Amen girl!