Executive Director of PhillyGayCalendar

Why I Walk

In two weeks I will be walking around Fairmount Park to support and remember those who are infected or affected by the HIV virus. I have certainly been affected by the epidemic. I took my first HIV test when I was seventeen. I remember feeling so nervous and thought that my life would be over if the test came back positive. But nonetheless, I couldn’t quite wrap my head around living with HIV.

The John J. Wilcox, Jr. Lending Library

Like Carrie Bradshaw and Monolos, books are what makes me happiest. I love books. The texture, the smell, the sound of pages turning. I love the static quiet and still air in bookstores and libraries, even comic book shops. I love the way standing in a room of books makes me feel like nothing is out of my reach. That I could learn anything, with enough time and effort, become a self-educated expert on any subject. As a card-carrying member of the gay lady club, of course GLBTQ fiction and history hold a special place in my heart.

Conversation with James Ijames

Actor/writer James Ijames has a busy year. The out Philadelphia transplant and Temple University grad appeared in a number of regional theater productions, including a celebrated staging of Tony Kushner’s epic Angels in America, in which Ijames played Belize. Later in the year Maukingbird Theater Company premiered The Threshing Floor, his one-man show about out writer James Baldwin. In August, he was announced as one of 5 finalists for the F. Otto Haas Award for Emerging Theater Artist. The recipient will be announced on October 4 at the Barrymore Awards. He was gracious enough to talk with me about his year, his play and what being gay and a person of color means to his art.

Tasteless Lube

Dear Timaree, I have a problem that I think other men might have as well. I like hand jobs and blow jobs, sometimes in the same session. Is there a really good, slick lubricant I can put on myself that doesn’t taste like diesel fuel to my partner? Keep up the fabulous work.

BOYFRIEND UNIVERSITY: Distancer Pursuer Style of Relating

How many of us took Boyfriend 101 in school? I bet the number is low. (Drunken, late nights experimenting with other boys don’t count). We plan for our education and prepare for our careers, yet when it comes to relationships some of us give more conscious thought to buying a new pair of jeans. I often meet men who say they want a relationship and yet have few skills and limited awareness about how to create it. It seems many of us gay men know little about emotional exchange, vulnerable disclosure, or power struggles. If we want good relationships, then we have to ask ourselves, what is healthy relating and how do we nurture it in our lives?

Where to meet lesbians?

I’m in the process of coming out as lesbian and need some help. I’m in my early thirties and have never even approached being involved in the gay scene. I started to realize my orientation a few years ago, but was very traditional-minded and never thought I would be able to live any other way. But it’s important to me that I not waste any more time and begin living the life I want.  I found stuff online about how to come out to your friends and family and while the conversations have not always been easy, I feel good about being able to be honest.  What remains for me is finding lesbian and gay friends and learning how to approach women. I don’t know any gay people my age in my social network, other than a couple acquaintances. How do I go to a lesbian bar and meet people?

Grammy Mame, Stylez Milez, and I had the chance to try Barbuzzo during restaurant week.

The power lesbians of 13th Street (Valerie and Marcie) who also own Lolita, Grocery, Bindi, Open House, Verde, and Marcie Blaine Chocolates debuted their latest home run – BARBUZZO! Honestly, these women have the Midas touch! One might be tempted to call them overachievers. Personally, I think they passed that when they opened their 4th business on 13th Street! I think after a 7th business we need to admit, they’re on a quest to rule the world, or at the very least the gayborhood!