Since June 2007, the Get REAL Project has been telling the stories of young gay, bisexual and transgender men in Philly. While continuing that mission, what follows is one in an occasional series of interviews with respected leaders in the LGBT community. Dr. Winn is a physician at Jefferson University and at Mazzoni Center and offered his perspective on some issues that affect our health.
I have a weird question and I don’t know if anyone can really answer it. After years of being heavy… no, really, I was fat…I’ve turned my life around and gotten in shape. A nutritionist, 5 times a week at the gym and a lot of sweat later, I’ve lost 110 pounds. I’m now lean and living an entirely new life… and finding myself unprepared for the attention I get from men. Even though I’m 29 I’ve never really dated and I don’t know how to respond to flirting. It’s also hard not to resent these guys too because I know that 110 pounds ago they wouldn’t have given me the time of day. How do I make up for all those years of not being in the dating pool with everyone else?
My ex and I split up about 2 and a half months ago after a year and a half of being together. We broke up because he wasn’t taking our relationship seriously enough for me, canceling plans at the last minute and not being attentive. He is only the third person I’ve ever slept with. I know he’s seeing a couple people casually now but I haven’t been seeing anyone and I’m getting lonely. The last couple times I went out to the bars I really wanted to call him and see if he wanted to just hook up. My friends have talked me out of it, but I don’t think it’s a bad idea because I know it’ll be good and I feel safe with him and it’ll keep me satisfied until I find someone new. Who’s right?”
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